Between The Devil and a Good Man
by lilylittle
Summary: The last person Tommy Shelby ever expected to see back in his life was Rose Alexander, the nurse who had treated him on the front line, and who, like him, saw the true devastation that war brought. Though she never strayed too far from his mind in the years that passed them by. Tommy/OC. [Part Two now available]
1. Prologue

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN

..

PART ONE

..  
 _  
'_ _How it must feel to be a bird  
Roam lonely over sea air  
How it must feel to be a bird  
London, Paris under me  
I'll wait on my own here'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

 _.._

PROLOGUE

 _1_ _st_ _September 1916, France - 02:12am  
_  
It had been a warm evening, surprisingly.

Tommy Shelby stared up at the dark sky as night had descended upon them a few hours before. He laid on the dry ground in the trenches, his body supported by his backpack that was lumpy and hard in places. He had repositioned himself a few times to get truly comfy, but the lumpy hard parts always seemed to find him.

But it didn't matter to him. As long as he was able to watch the stars twinkling above him with the cool breeze upon his face, he was fine. His stomach rumbled slightly but he ignored it, aware of the stir of soldiers around him as they tried to find some comfort. Sleep seemed to evade them all as they sought the comfort of their loved ones to keep the warm and safe for the few hours of nightfall. But they made do with what they had and that was their own arms wrapped around the abdomen.

The day had been spent digging the trenches they now lay in, and his muscles and head ached with tiredness. He heard movement a stone's throw away from him, and Arthur approached him then slowly and cautiously, head bowed to protect his height from a possible sighting from the enemy.

"Quiet night, brother," Arthur whispered, his voice deep, tired.

"Aye," was all Tommy muttered, his voice low in respect to those trying to sleep.

As Arthur settled down close to his brother, he stared up at the night sky also. As the darkness played tricks on their vision, creating shapes and images of whatever their tiredness could envision, Tommy found himself drifting off with the comfort of knowing his brother was close to him.

However, when the shattering crash of the explosions suddenly chased them in the night, they found that they had been too trusting with the stillness of the evening. The explosion roared unequivocally, smoke filling the air and the lungs of those around them, it caused shrapnel to embed itself into the skin, faces and eyes of the soldiers under his command, it also caused the ones closest to the explosion be torn apart and their body parts to rain down around them.

As Tommy was woken suddenly and stared around at the tormented scenes of his friends screaming in pain, he was numb. And just when he thought the enemy had given up, another explosion burst next to him.

..

 _"In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan…"_

"… earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone…" he continued, his voice pained and slow. _  
_

 _"You're awake,"_ a voice said from afar, though he wasn't sure if it was due to the dullness of his hearing.

"Am I… dead?" he whispered, his voice hoarse and gravelly. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times, his vision blurry. His head pounded as he attempted to move, and when a hand placed itself upon his shoulder gently, he fell back onto the bed.

"You're not dead," the voice replied. Soft, well spoken, unknown to him. "Though, I bet you feel like you are."

"Aye," he muttered. "What… what happened?"

"They say a bomb," she replied. "We heard it from our station…"

"Any casualties?"

Tommy opened his eyes then after squeezing them shut. The pounding in his head only intensified and he groaned in pain as it overwhelmed him. He allowed her to help him up, and he held onto her arm for a moment to steady himself. Dizziness hit him like a freight train. Once it cleared albeit slowly, he turned to the woman. A nurse, short, dark hair, with watchful and empathetic eyes.

And it was like he knew just by looking at her just what damage had been done.

"A few…" she began but was cut off by him.

"How many?" His stare only intensified on her, and when his voice filled the air around them next and she understood just how much he needed to know. "Please…"

"Over one hundred were killed, and two hundred were injured," she answered honestly. He released her arm then and attempted to stand from his bed, but she was quick to stop him. "Sir, you cannot," she pleaded with him.

"They're my men," he said curtly. "I have a brother… is he… is he one of them?"

"I can find out for you, but I'm afraid I can't let you roam around with your injuries," she pleaded, her voice firm but shaken.

And it was at that moment that he looked down and saw the true extent of his injuries. Multiple open wounds to his body from shrapnel that scattered across his body and face; his shoulder had been dislocated from the force of the explosion that had wiped him off his feet but had been realigned and bandaged; an injured eye from a piece of shrapnel flying into it.

He faltered then, and he allowed her to move him back to the bed. She knelt in front of him and offered him a small reassuring smile.

"The injuries I've seen today have been the worst I've seen in a long time…" she whispered honestly, and he could tell by her contorted and pained face that she wasn't sure why she was opening up to a stranger in such a way. He could tell that part of her was terrified. "Men that I spoke to just a few days ago were brought in dead, and I'm scared because this… this is everything I'm trained for, but I'm absolutely petrified…"

She wiped her tears before they had a chance to roll down her cheeks and she stood up after a deep breath. She spoke again after a small moment to compose herself. "I can try and find your brother for you, but I must prepare you for the worst…"

Tommy nodded after a moment, his expression pained. "His name is Shelby. Arthur Shelby," he said carefully. She nodded and moved away but he caught her arm carefully. Once she turned to him again. "What's your name?"

"Rose…" she whispered.

"Thank you, Rose," he ushered before she nodded tearfully and moved away to the records of the men that had come through. He looked around at the men in the beds with injuries that varied much like his own, and he saw that some had been left with devastating injuries unlike his own. And he thought in that moment whether he was lucky or unlucky. Good men who fought alongside him were facing the rest of their lives with the loss of their limbs, with blindness and deafness, and some were never returning to their loved ones.

It was a while before Rose returned with a document in her hand. She moved towards him instantly and spoke quietly.

"We've only had one Arthur in this tent and it's not your brother," she explained then showed him the document. He blinked a few times before his vision could truly comprehend the words scrawled upon the paper. "Which means that he's most likely in the minor injuries tent or he was unscathed."

It took Tommy a moment to digest the information she had given to him, but it was clear that Arthur was most likely alive, and that for him was enough.

..

Arthur found him later that day.

His brother bounded in like a puppy reuniting with its owner after months of separation, and Tommy had to keep in a groan of pain from erupting from him as his brother wrapped his arms tightly around him. Arthur held Tommy's face in his hands for a moment as he stared at the cosmetic injuries upon his brother's face and shook his head slowly as he, himself, remembered the course of events.

"I thought ya were dead, Tommy," Arthur muttered.

"Charmin'," Tommy retorted with a smirk, his breathing staggered from the tight hold from his older brother.

"Ya jumped in front of me and I thought, 'this is it, this is the end'," Arthur explained. "And then ya wouldn't move when I tried to wake ya. And I carried ya all the way here for help…"

"Thanks, brother…" Tommy whispered, his gaze intense upon his brother. "We lost a lot of our men."

Tommy's voice faltered then and Arthur bowed his head in respect. He had seen the injuries to those of his friends and he had worried about the injuries his brother had.

"We're Shelby's," Arthur began, his voice strong but quiet. "We don't die easily…"

..

The nightmares began soon after, and Tommy found himself jolting awake just as the memory of the explosion would clang into his dreams. He would hear the cries of dying men all around him, and he would find that he, too, would be lying there covered in blood holding his guts close to his body like he was holding a newborn baby.

He would see the fear in his own eyes and then he would hear himself scream in agony as he looked around at the field of his dead family, and then he would feel the comforting hand he had felt before upon his shoulder. Rose would be there in an instant to reassure him, though it felt much longer for him.

He would sit in the candlelight and wait for his heart to stop pounding against his chest violently. Rose would be attending to the other injured soldiers, but would keep a watchful gaze upon Tommy as he battled with the thin veil of reality and dreams.

She would return to his side then and hand him a cup of water which he would gulp down quickly. And she would remain close to him as he fought with the overwhelming panic that clawed at him.

"I feel different," Tommy said one night.

Rose had been attending to the soldier beside him when his voice had filled the quiet tent around them. She turned to him and waited for him to continue. "How so?"

"I feel numb," Tommy said quietly. "I don't feel anything anymore."

Rose was quiet for a moment before she nodded. "I feel the same. Probably not to the same extent, of course… but it has changed how I am as a person…"

"Everything just seems bleak," Tommy said confiding in her. "As though I've died already."

Rose sat on the edge of Tommy's bed and played with the ring upon her finger. "The war… it will change everyone like that," Rose whispered, the flicker of the candlelight dancing across her face. "May we all be lucky and die twice."

And Tommy couldn't help but falter at that for it was true.

..

 _Author's Note: Just a quick little prologue to truly start the story. I'm so excited for this. Let me know what you think!_


	2. Part One: Chapter One

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'I couldn't tell you enough that I'm sorry  
And no, you couldn't tell me enough that you loved me  
She's bringing the moon and the stars to me  
Damn permanent reverie'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER ONE

Thomas Shelby was a good man.

The war had changed him considerably, molded him into a harder and more calloused man, but he always remained a good man, or at least he would tell himself that. The war had left a dark imprint upon his skin, marking every inch of his exhausted and scarred body with burning memories of the past. He had seen the change in his brothers more than himself: the laughter that once roared into the night was clipped and followed by a heavy silence; the fun they all had was left in the past; the affection was short-lived, fleeting; the quietness that descended upon them in the evenings.

Every little thing was changed after the war. The heaviness of the guilt was overwhelming, and he often wondered if it would be capable of suffocating him, snaking its dark fingers out from the shadows of night and grasping him around his throat and squeezing the life out of him. He would dream about that, and he would wake with a jolt just as the last bit of air was squeezed out of him.

And though his return home was a short one, he knew as soon as he stepped foot back into Small Health that he was different to the man who had left a few short years before. He had matured emotionally and mentally more than he thought possible, having spent most of his childhood getting into trouble with petty crimes. He had watched the young children playing in the streets outside his house, heard their squeals of delight as they played for hours outside, and wondered if he and his brothers would ever feel as carefree as they did in that moment.

The ghosts of the men they had been would forever live on, and for the rest of his life he knew he would be haunted by the visions of what he had seen and lost in France.

His friends had been killed around him, and their stories, voices and the good men they had been would be no more. And he hated the fact that he had survived when most of his men had been ambushed by the enemy and killed. He knew their ghosts would walk alongside him for the rest of his years, and part of him was grateful that he wouldn't have to walk alone in a life that was bleak and disturbed. He had promised them, once he had learned the true number of those who had been killed that day when he was injured, that he would live on for them and fight against the odds to ensure he had another day of life.

And even if it was just for one more day then he would go out smiling. He promised them that.

Once he had been given confirmation that he could return home, he had been urged by Arthur that he should take the leave and rest as much as he was able to. And though he left Arthur there, he knew his mind and heart remained with him.

Tommy knew by the reaction of Aunt Pol that he had changed. War had stripped him of his humanity, which had once shone out of him like a beaming light. He could see the sadness and guilt in her eyes as she would watch him in the evenings where laughter once filled the room and where a deafly silence would hang above them. He would offer her a reassuring smile, but one that never truly reached his eyes, and she would know that the war had changed him into a man that could see no way out of the pain and suffering he felt within him. The only feeling he would truly feel was numbness, and he knew that wasn't right.

She had met him from the train station, and they had walked back in silence to the street that he'd lived on for all his life. And though there was only the two of them walking down the street, the ghosts of his men walked amongst them. Everywhere he turned, they were there, and every time he closed his eyes to sleep, tiredness finally consuming him, they welcomed him back like an old friend.

And so, he found himself writing.

It started off with him writing what he believed people wanted him to write. That war had made him a man and he was grateful for the opportunity. But he would be lying; a cold-hearted lie that would easily be figured out just by one glance in his direction. He found himself writing to her, despite it not being his intention to do so. It would be bits here and there for the first few days before it consumed him, and he finally found a release for all the pain and anguish within his heart that he didn't know how to process and digest properly.

War was difficult comprehend at the best of times, and he knew that it was tough for him to truly acknowledge all the feelings he felt. A whirlwind of emotions that seemed to wipe him out and leave him winded and exhausted. And so, he would write. Everything he couldn't put into words verbally, he relied on his writing to figure out the feelings in his heart and mind. And to have her be his main recipient helped and guided him through the days of home, where he felt just as lost there as he had done in France.

Her voice would slip into his mind, and he would find comfort in the words she had spoken to him in the times they had spent together as he recovered. She had told him that it was fine to feel the way he did, but that he needed to find comfort in the smaller things: the feeling of the cool breeze upon his skin in the morning; birds chirping around him at dawn when the world was still for a moment; the feeling of his hands resting against the floor underneath him knowing that he wasn't going to fall further into the black hole that he felt was going to swallow him up at any given moment. He was safe, and that was all that mattered in that moment.

The two weeks seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. And though every inch of him was anxious, he had hope in his heart that the war would be over soon. Aunt Pol walked him to the train station in the early morning, and though it was quiet, he had hugged her just a little tighter than he had done the first time he had left. The woman had faltered in his arms, her tough exterior weakening at the emotion she felt within her.

"You don't have to go, Tommy," Aunt Pol had said, her voice breaking.

"I have to, Pol," Tommy had responded, his voice low and emotionless. "I'll be shot if I don't return."

Aunt Pol had wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes. She nodded sadly, the thought of him being hurt in such a way breaking her into a million pieces.

"Don't be sad for me, Pol," Tommy whispered, holding her tightly to him. "Follow my heart, right? It'll be over soon… I promise. And all your boys will be home where they belong."

Aunt Pol nodded profusely. The house had been quiet without them, and even though she still had a few little ones to look after and care for, she missed the older lads teasing and playing with them all. The stillness of the house in the morning would shock her as she would forget that they were gone for just a moment as she walked down the stairs to an empty and quiet house. She thought of all the things she would do to just have them back home with her, and in her arms once more.

"Take care of yourself," Aunt Pol had pleaded with him, and she had watched as he nodded curtly. He gave her a short wave before boarding the train.

And just like that, Tommy Shelby was gone.

..

 _5 January 1918_

The war lasted for four years and four months before the news came that signaled the end of the war. Cities all around the world celebrated the end of a long four years, though it didn't reach the frontline for a couple of days afterwards.

The war that was expected to last until Christmas of 1914 had finally come to an end, and all the pain and suffering that each soldier felt was able to be released through tears of joy and tight hugs. Arthur had moved towards Tommy instantly underground in the tunnels, and their strong arms wrapped around each other where they remained for some time. The battleground above was quiet and still, a state in which usually signaled danger. But now, it meant salvation and peace, and the sound of a thousand men's hearts breaking with relief at the thought of war finally being over rang through the country.

In the days that came after the end of the war, there was a sense of desperation from Tommy. Though the war had been won, Tommy couldn't wrap his head around at the fact that it was truly over. The loss of lives, the sudden end, and the uncertainty of a future for all those left behind was a bitter pill for Tommy to swallow.

He wondered what life would be like once they returned home.

The people of the coal dusted street welcomed the soldiers home with open arms, but the loss of the men who should've returned home with them was felt by all.

And Tommy did what he had done in the war, and that was to take control of the men who had fought with him and his brothers. They were just as lost as he was, but he knew they couldn't waste away. The inner turmoil that all of them felt would kill them if they continued to sit in their chairs at home, their minds replaying the events of war over and over again. He knew it would drive them mad, for he felt the same. The panic all of them felt would eat away at them if they weren't kept busy, and so Tommy took control and employed them all so that they could work to keep their minds off the battlefield and do something to help their family and themselves.

He knew it was a shot in the dark, but he needed to do something. And if it only helped his family then so be it, he thought. He needed to help others the way he hoped someone would help him when he needed it.

And so, the Shelby business thrived. With Tommy as their leader, their work was done effortlessly with all men following his orders and thriving in their roles. It was something to do to keep their minds preoccupied and busy whilst feeding their growing families and keeping a roof over their heads. It worked, and Tommy was thankful that he could see a light in the somewhat bleak life that he returned to.

As the months passed them by, Tommy finally found his feet again. Though the numbness within him still remained there, he invested his time and energy into the men working for him, as well as the letters he would send to her.

Rose had remained a vital part of his recovery, and even though he could only communicate with her through letters, he looked forward to her letters every week. After the war, she had found a job at a small hospital in London and though it was obvious that the war had affected her in similar ways to him, her letters always allowed him the release he needed. To read that she was doing well was everything to him, and even though he could sense the sadness in her words, he knew she was doing as well as she could be in the circumstances. She had been such a prominent part in his life when he feared he would be taken way before his time, she had been the one to care for him and bring him back from the brink of death as the fever and infections roared through his body.

Her job was keeping her busy, and was a stark contrast to her old role in the war. The casualties had somewhat scarred her mentally and she had joked to him that everything that came her way seemed easy now that she had dealt with so much in France. He could only imagine what she had seen for he had seen images that still haunted him.

Not everyone made it out of the war unscathed, she had written. And it had been true. Whether you fought on the front line, underground like he had, or had been dealing with the men shot and bleeding out, you were pulled into the ugly affair of war.

And as he found himself in the darkness of his small bedroom with the only light coming from the candlelight that flickered to the winter cold that seeped through the thin window, he seated himself next to the fireplace in the chair that had been his mothers. He sat there for a moment before he pulled out the letter from his breast pocket and stared intently at the handwriting scrawled across the front. Her elegant scrawl was one that he grew to recognize instantly, and one that warmed his heart knowing that her words were going to comfort him for another week.

He lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke, feeling the stress and panic he felt within him escape with his exhale. He kept the cigarette in between his lips as he opened the envelope carefully. He pulled the letter out and unfolded it. His eyes scanned the words written on the page and felt his heart yearn a little. He furrowed his brow and took a deep breath.

 _Dear Tommy,_

 _Merry Christmas first and foremost! And a Happy New Year! I hope you and your family had a wonderful holiday one filled with light and happiness._

 _I must apologise for this letter being late for I have been working all the hours God has given me. I had a rather exciting delivery late on Christmas Eve. I had a late shift that evening and just as I was heading home to my little room, I stumbled across a woman who looked – and sounded! – very much in labour, and I was able to deliver her first son that evening. It was such an incredible feeling, to see a family be complete by the birth of a much-wanted child was just wonderful._

 _I was thinking about you the other day in fact, and it reminded me to write this letter to you. Work has been incredibly busy, and some days I feel that I have not slept but I do have to admit, I thrive off that, so I do apologise if my letters are late. But… how have you been doing? I hope you have been behaving up there in Birmingham! Though I cannot promise that I'm behaving down here – being in London has opened my eyes to life after the war, and I do have to admit, I want to feel alive again._

 _I know I talk a lot about London in my letters to you, but one day… I will be brave enough to traipse into it. It's rather unnerving for a girl from a small village in the middle of nowhere to want to be in a city full of sounds and flashing lights. I have heard stories of the parties that seem to end when the sun comes up the next morning! Can you imagine?!_

 _I cannot wait to hear from you. You must come down to London and I'll show you around!_

 _It truly feels as though the war was just yesterday, and though it's been just a few months, I cannot seem to shake the sense of panic. It seems as though any loud noise gives me the utter shock of my life, and it takes me a while to shake it off. I must reassure myself that it is not in fact dangerous, but the beating of my heart thrashing against my chest seems to say otherwise._

 _I do not know why I'm telling you this, but surely – I cannot be going mad so soon?_

 _Sincerely,_  
 _Rose Alexander_  
 _x_

He had always found it difficult to express his emotions to his brothers, and not wanting to burden them with such a thing for they were going through their own internal battles, he sought comfort in the letters he received from Rose. He found that each letter he sent to her was responded with the respect that he didn't think he deserved, and each letter was a way of opening up to each other without having to physically show their scars.

Her letters were upbeat and personal, and he found it intriguing to know how her career was doing. Her training had proved to be vital in the war, and it had helped so many men, and to have her take care of other people was a remarkable thought.

It was evident to see that she was struggling, and just like him, he knew what it was like to still hear the bombs as though they were right next to him. The cries of dying men was something that he could never shake, and he was sure that she struggled with the same thing.

He reread the letter a few times before he placed it in the drawer of his bedside table where the others were kept. He smoked another cigarette as he stared out of the window, pondering his next move.

He would go to London and surprise her.

..

 _Author's Note: Hello! So... I have continued with writing the past, mostly because I wanted to ensure the back story is all filled in before the main action begins. I have always wondered about Tommy dealing with the aftermath of war, and the struggles he and his brothers most likely dealt with quietly upon their return. I hope you enjoy, and do leave a review as I would love to know what you think. Thank you!_


	3. Part One: Chapter Two

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'And even though this life, this love is brief  
I've got some people who carry me  
Wasn't it love as soon as we knew each other properly?  
Living 'bout half right, until a certain person got to me'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER TWO

London had been everything he expected and more.

A stillness had descended upon the entire country in the aftermath of the war as everyone readjusted to life without the threat of the enemy so close to home. The men who returned settled slowly into life at home though their minds were still on the battlefield. And the women who they had returned home to tried to readjust to having them back, the changes in their husbands, sons, and brothers being noticeable. But with the calmness of the world now, there was a sense of excitement almost trying to burst out of the seams as the new generation became old enough to understand the potential of the country they lived in.

Tommy had found himself travelling early one morning on the canal, navigated by Charlie Strong, and headed to London. He had found himself unable to sleep, a whirring sense of apprehension in his stomach. He had tried to reassure his exhausted mind, but it seemed to be racing at the thought of seeing her again.

Aunt Pol had questioned him as to why he was heading to London, and he simply answered that it was for a potential business venture. He wanted to be as vague as he could with her, knowing that if he tried to explain himself more, he would begin to ramble, and she would know with just a glance. He had always been honest with her, but this was private. He had kept it private for a reason, he didn't want to explain to anyone about his letters to Rose, or the fact that he relied so heavily upon her words to comfort him when the darkness in his heart dulled the happiness he should be feeling. Nothing and no one seemed to make him happy, and all hope within his heart was gone.

He had told Charlie about where he was heading and why it meant so much to him, and Charlie had simply nodded in his direction. He knew that Tommy never did anything he wasn't sure of. His actions were from the heart, no matter what.

"Are you... doing okay?" Charlie had asked him a short time later, and Tommy had been quick to answer that he was in fact fine and never better. But it was a second later that he retracted it and spoke honestly to his uncle about his struggles.

"I have nightmares," Tommy spoke quietly, avoiding his uncle's gaze. His brow furrowed as to whether he wanted to open up to him, knowing that there was a long journey ahead of them, or keep the truth as sugar coated as possible. He hated showing weakness, and even though he knew it was perfectly okay to not be okay, he still hated bearing his soul.

Charlie sensed the hesitation in his words and the silence that followed, and simply said: "You've been to war, Tommy. It's normal to feel this way, but you can talk to us about what happened over there, you know?"

Tommy had nodded after a moment, grateful. And so, he opened the wounds he had tried so desperately to heal before their time. The mental scars ached for as long as he could remember, and he felt as though his mind would never heal. The sounds he would hear when no one else could frightened him to his very core.

"I take opium to fall asleep," Tommy continued, his voice low and embarrassed. "It's the only way I can calm myself without drinking myself into an oblivion. But it's not strong enough to keep the nightmares at bay."

"How long have you been having them?"

Tommy looked at him and shrugged. "It's been a long time there, Charlie. Could probably tell you when I haven't had them."

"Does your Aunt Pol know?" Charlie asked, concerned.

"It wouldn't surprise me if she does," Tommy muttered. "But no. I've not told her, and I don't want you to, either."

"Got it," Charlie replied, respectfully. "But… you should tell her, Tom."

"No," Tommy's voice was stern then. "I don't want her to worry. She's only just got us back after so long. I can't have her know that I'm not coping."

Charlie fell silent at the sternness of his voice. He knew Tommy well, and he knew that Tommy would do what he needed to do when the time came for it. And for now, he would cope as best as he could with what he had, and if that was pretending to cope well with the aftermath of the war then that's what he would do. It was hard on them all, and Tommy knew that. His brother Arthur sought comfort in drink, his younger brother John found comfort in the warmth of the brothel, beckoning him in like a moth to a flame. And well he wrote down his feelings, cutting open the wounds and bleeding across the page metaphorically and showing Rose that he bled too.

The journey to London was a peaceful one, and one that he enjoyed as he came into the clearing of a new city. Smoke bellowed across the canal as Charlie navigated the boat and the goods into the correct position, and waved farewell to Tommy, calling out that he would return early on Monday morning for him.

Tommy pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at the time. It was nearing late afternoon and the sun was setting across the city, the journey into the capital having taken a few hours, and he found himself walking to the hospital she was working in. She was able to get the weekend off and had written about her excitement at having a couple of days to rest. He hailed down a taxi who drove him to the hospital, and he waited outside for a few moments.

He had questioned himself as to whether it was the right move and whether he was ready to see her again. But every answer he was drawn to was the one he wanted deep down. He needed to see her again.

And as she came out of the large doors to the hospital to find him stood there, he saw it written all over her face just how glad she was to see him again. And all the fear and uncertainty he felt grasp at his heart seeped away with the cool breeze that passed over them. She rushed to him and threw her arms around him, holding him tightly to her.

"It's so nice to see you," she whispered into his collar, her balance uneven due to being on her tiptoes and having to reach up to him. "You surprised me!"

"A good surprise?" his voice yearned for confirmation.

She pulled away from the hug and stared at him, her eyes scanning every detail of his face. It had been something she had thought of for a while, though her memory only served her with the recollections of him being injured and hurt which seemed to be too unbearable to think about.

"Of course!" she had stated happily. "You're everything I remember…"

And she was everything he remembered and more. The dark hair that he remembered being tied up was down and framing her face. Her skin was pale and speckled with freckles that adorned her face and hands, like tiny droplets of paint upon a painter's blank canvas. Her blue eyes shone brightly at him, and he was able to see the sadness knitted in her brow, the way her eyes stared intensely into his and how her smile never reached her eyes properly.

"So… London, aye?" he said, changing the subject. He noticed that she was still in his arms, and he faltered then and dropped his arms that were wrapped around her waist. She stepped backwards nodding at his question.

"I know," she said. "It's different from the small village I grew up in!"

"I bet," he smiled. "So, what do you do in London?"

"Other than working," she began before she mused over his question. "I like to go dancing. They have some wonderful places that play music I've never heard before, and it's just so… incredible."

A smirk played on his lips. "You know, I've never been dancing before."

Her eyes widened in shock. "It's magnificent. I'll have to take you sometime."

"I'll keep you to that," Tommy smiled.

As the sun began to set early in the month of January, they found themselves walking towards the place she was living in. The urge to show him the sights and sounds that London had to offer him was a prominent one but they both knew they were equally as tired, with Rose having just finished a long shift at the hospital, and Tommy having spent most of the day travelling to London. As she led him back to the house she lived in, where she had informed him that she was renting a room from a widowed woman called Henrietta who wasn't prepared to leave the house that had been her home for as long as she could remember. Though the house was old, and the wallpaper was peeling off some walls, it had quickly become her home and she enjoyed the company of Hettie.

Hettie had allowed her to live rent free for the first couple of weeks as she found her feet in her new job in return of company. She had found that she had a lot in common with the old woman, and on evenings when she would return home from work, Hettie would have a dinner cooked and ready for when she walked through the door. It was nice to have someone who cared for her, and who looked after her when all she wanted to do was curl up on the couch and collapse into a peaceful sleep.

"So, she's a little deaf," Rose informed Tommy. "But she'll have you singing to her in no time."

"I can't sing," Tommy replied to her, humor in his voice.

"Neither can I, but that doesn't stop her unfortunately," Rose giggled, wrapping her arms around her body to keep the warmth in. It had grown colder in the weeks after the Christmas holiday, and she had found herself struggling to keep warm. She would rush home from work quickly most evenings and find herself lying in front of the large fireplace to get warm. Hettie would bring her a hot cup of tea and a biscuit.

"Do you like it here?" Tommy asked as they turned the corner. He came to a halt, and when she realised that he wasn't following, she stopped also. She turned back to him and furrowed her brow.

She bit her lip thoughtfully. "Would it be wrong of me to say no?"

"Not at all," Tommy said with a shake of his head.

"The job… it pays well, for a woman, but…" Rose began, finding it difficult to word it properly.

"But it ain't the same as before," Tommy finished for her, and she nodded at his words.

"Before the war… I had so much hope for the world, you know? I was young, naïve. I believed that everything would fall into place, and there'd be times when I'd struggle through it all, but the struggle would be something that I would look back on when I was older and think, 'it wasn't always bad'," Rose explained, coming to stand in front of Tommy. She stared up at him and narrowed her gaze into his. Tommy felt the burn of her stare, but he kept his eyes upon hers. "And then the war was tougher than I ever expected. I wasn't on the frontline, no, but… I was the one trying to patch the wounds up that never seemed to stop bleeding, I closed the eyes of the men who died in my arms, I sent a prayer to the families back at home who had no idea their brother, father, son, was gone… and I don't feel that burning desire to help anyone anymore because I can't get over the ones I couldn't save over there."

Tommy didn't understand what washed over him in that moment, but he found himself pulling her to him. He wrapped his strong arms around her tightly and held her, feeling her heart beat furiously against his chest. He felt her hands move around him where she held onto his coat tightly for fear of becoming unsteady on her feet. Sobs escaped her, but he continued to hold her close.

And he knew in that moment that she had scars that no one else could see, just like he did.

..

The sound of a soft snore filled the air around him as Rose pushed open the large front door to the house, and with a finger to her lips, Rose led him upstairs to the room she rented. He could feel the warmth of the house radiate around him, seeping into the fabric of his clothes as he followed behind her. He threw a glance at the old woman sleeping soundly in the armchair next to the fire, her chest rising and falling peacefully.

As Rose led him down the corridor to her room, he could see what Rose had meant about the house being neglectfully loved. Rose opened the door and allowed him to step into the room first where she moved to the bedside table where she lit the candles around the room. As each candle lit up the room in stages, Tommy found himself smiling at the little touches she had made to the room. Perfume bottles, a small selection of make-up and the letters he'd sent to her sat upon the dressing table, fashion and lady magazines were situated upon the fireplace, and a selection of fancy dresses were hung from a railing fixed into the alcove.

His eyes trailed across the room before they fell on her standing awkwardly in the doorway, watching him as he took in her room.

"Is this the first time you've had a man in your bedroom?" his voice was low, but it was enough to send shivers down her spine and goosebumps to form upon her hidden skin.

She thought about lying in that moment, but she had never been good at lying. Tommy was watching her carefully and she found herself shaking her head. Rose watched as he furrowed his brow and nodded, bowing his head and moving away from her. She didn't know what made her say that, and she was sure she wanted to seem more experienced around men than she was.

"Have you ever been loved?" Tommy asked, his voice trailing off as he moved over to her dresses that were all hung up. He grazed his fingers against the soft material.

"I haven't," Rose answered truthfully.

"Have you ever loved someone, Rose?" Tommy asked then, and she found a lump begin to form in her throat.

"I…" she began, her voice failing her. "I have…"

Tommy nodded in that moment, and moved towards her dressing table where he picked up the stack of letters he'd sent her. He placed them back where he found them after a moment before turning to her. He saw her falter as his gaze fell on her once more.

His voice didn't fill her ears again as a knock sounded on her door. She felt panic wash over her and she placed a finger on her lip to quieten Tommy. As she pulled open the door to reveal Hettie standing there, a smirk on her face.

"Men have such a distinct scent," she said, walking into the room. "I lost my husband twelve years ago, and I have missed the smell of a man in the house."

As she entered the room and her eyes fell upon Tommy with a wide smile etching across her face. Tommy extended his hand out to her in respect. Hettie took his hand in hers and shook it, her face turning to Rose as she did.

"And he's beautiful," Hettie continued, the smirk never leaving her face. "Why would you hide him from me?"

"I'm Tommy," he introduced himself. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Tommy," Hettie replied. "Ah, so you are the boy she's been talking about."

As Rose began to interject, Tommy laughed and responded. "Good things, I hope."

Rose hid her blushed cheeks from him, but he saw her falter.

"Excellent things," Hettie added quickly. "Now, who wants some brandy? It's not going to drink itself."

..

As night stretched into early morning, Rose and Tommy found themselves setting up the spare room for Tommy. Hettie had spoken to them for much of the evening about her childhood, how she had met her beloved Joseph when she was just sixteen and they had married on her eighteenth birthday, and how they had been married for fifty-one years before he died unexpectedly. She had taken herself off to bed after a few too many brandies, in her words, and they had stayed up for an extra hour talking about all the things they were too scared to write down.

Both had listened to the other as they spoke, and both had found comfort in their kind responses. As the night deepened, tiredness, warmth from the fire and the brandy that still burned their lips overwhelmed them.

"Yes…" she said in the lowly lit bedroom.

"Yes?" he asked, a hint of confusion in his voice. He glanced over at her as she placed a spare pillow upon the bed.

"The question you asked me earlier…" she began, avoiding his gaze. "About whether it was the first time a man had been in my bedroom and I answered no."

"You lied…"

"I lied," she repeated, her gaze falling on him then.

"I know," Tommy chuckled quietly. "Your nostrils flare when you lie."

She found herself laughing quietly along with him. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed deeply. But Rose didn't know if it was the liquid confidence pumping through her system, or the fact that she couldn't shake the butterflies battling against each other in her stomach every time she thought of him or looked in his direction, but she closed the gap between them.

And it was then that she realised just how tall he was compared to her, and how his eyes stared intensely into hers, and how the world felt as though it stopped moving every time their eyes met, or their hands accidentally touched.

Tommy gently reached for her hand and took her hand in his. Their breaths hitched in their throats as they moved closer to each other. As Rose reached up and brushed her lips against his, he felt all his wounds begin to heal with invisible thread. And he thought that even if that feeling only lasted for a moment, it was worth it.


	4. Part One: Chapter Three

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'_ _Nothing is secret, everything's sacred_ _  
_ _How it ought to be  
Under the moonlight  
On a clear night  
On rooftops is where I want to be'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER THREE

As he lay in bed in the aftermath of the kiss, his mind whirred with the memory of her being close to him. The feeling of her hand in his, her fingers intertwined with his, and their hearts beating quickly almost in sync. The overwhelming rush of love he had for her in that moment had been breathtaking, and it was something that he hadn't known he needed. And for a long time, he felt all the pain and anguish that he felt build upon beneath the surface of his skin begin to melt away.

Their kiss had come to a natural end, and she had shyly left the room thus leaving him to his own thoughts and feelings. He knew by the way she came to his side after he pulled her back for one more kiss that she didn't want to leave, but she had to. Their composure had been knocked slightly at the transition in their relationship, and he understood that it had moved naturally and with ease.

He wondered what would have happened if she had stayed in the room with him, and whether it was a good idea for her to have left when she did. But his lips burned with the taste of her lips, and his mind continued to conjure up the image of her in front of him, like the ghost of that memory would forever live on in his mind and in the room.

He laid a hand upon his chest where his heart was beating abundantly, and a part of him was taken aback when he realised he'd slipped out of the bed and was opening the door to the room he was staying in. He allowed his bare feet to lead the way to her room as his mind continued to replay the kiss repeatedly, and though their kiss had been short and sweet, it had been enough for him to feel something. His entire body felt as though it was on fire every time he thought of her.

As Tommy closed the gap between himself and her room, he stopped as the floorboard creaked beneath his feet. But it seemed that the creak hadn't gone unnoticed and unheard as her door opened swiftly, her eyes rested upon him instantly, her chest heaving with exhilaration. He heard her breath hitch in her throat as he came to stand in front of her, his eyes boring into her once more.

"I hoped it would be you…" she whispered into the stillness that night offered. He brought his hand up to her face where he gently grazed his thumb against the apple of her cheek and feeling her shudder beneath his touch. They remained stood there for a few moments, before he felt her grab the hem of his shirt and pull him into the room gently. He closed the door behind him and allowed her to lead him into the room.

They stood in the candlelight, their eyes staring at each other intensely.

"I'm going to make love to you, Rose," he declared to her. "Have you ever made love to a man before?"

Rose shook her head quickly, her heart quickening its pace against her chest. She was so sure he could see her heart beating erratically in her chest. He nodded at her answer, and reached for her hand where he laid it on top of his heart that was beating just as wildly as hers.

"You make me feel alive, Rose…" his words faltered then, and he bowed his head. She moved her hand from his heart and allowed him to bury his face into her palm. She laid kisses upon his hair and forehead, allowing them to travel down to his cheeks and jaw, before they hesitated just above his own lips. She felt the warmth of his breath tickle her lips, and with a deep breath, she allowed their lips to meet once more.

Her hands reached up to his face where her fingers gently stroked his face as his hands moved to the back of her head keeping her there, though she wasn't going anywhere.

He felt the warmth of her hands move down the length of his arms before they began to unbutton his shirt. A shiver coursed through his body and he moved away from her, their kiss coming to an end. He watched as she unbuttoned his shirt, and when she had reached the last button, he laid his hands on hers thus stopping her. He couldn't remember the last time he had allowed his body to be bare of all material around another person. It had been a long time, and it was something that he had done unconsciously, the scars that now adorned his body causing him to feel inadequate.

Rose laid a gentle kiss upon his mouth once more before she undid the last button. She ran her hand gently upon his chest and stomach that she could see, but made no movement to take the shirt off him, sensing his hesitation. She still adorned the dress she had left work in, and it had been something she wanted to remove as soon as she had returned to her room after their first kiss, but she had found herself pacing across the floor.

She began to unbutton her dress slowly, aware of his intense stare upon her. She stripped out of the layers with shaky hands until she was in her undergarments. Tommy faltered then as he watched her stand before him, the coldness of night kissing her skin and causing goosebumps to spread across her skin. He instinctively closed the gap between them and pulling his shirt from his body. He allowed his bare chest to brush against hers as they stared into each other's eyes. Rose lifted her arms up, and he nodded, reaching down and allowing his fingers to graze against the softness of her thighs as he lifted her undergarment from her body until she stood in front of him naked and bare.

As he stripped himself of all clothing, every pretense fell.

And the façade they showed to the world melted away. Kisses that were once soft and hesitant now grew in intensity as their breathing and heartbeats became more erratic. Their bodies moved softly together as their skin was made of the finest silk. They explored each other's bodies as if they were exploring the finest artwork they had ever witnessed until the urgency of being even closer became paramount. As the fire burned within them, every nerve ending set alight with every hitch of breath and every moan that filled the dark room.

He kissed every inch of her body, feeling her shudder beneath his lips. And she kissed every scar that marked his body feeling the tension in his body ease.

And in those moments, with their eyes never wavering from each other, their souls connected, and all the pain, guilt and sadness melted away into the darkness, for they were together and that, for them, was everything.

..

 _Blood soaked his clothes and marked his skin, tainting him. He felt his heart race rapidly against his chest and he wondered if he was ever going to make it out alive. He felt the heaviness of the gun in his hands as he cast his eyes across the battlefield. Bodies were strewn across the field, blood and dirt mixing with their tears as they stared unseeingly at the sky above them. Their chests were still, unmoving._

 _He felt the tears burn his eyes and roll down his cheeks, as he released the gasp from his throat. And it was then that he was them. His brothers laid amongst the others, blood seeping out of the countless bullet holes that covered their bodies. Their eyes were open and staring back at him, but they weren't truly looking at him._

 _He had failed them in ways that he had promised to protect them. He had known his brothers would die for him, and they had. He hadn't saved them, he had allowed them to die senselessly._

 _He dropped the gun beside him, and Tommy fell to his knees._

He jolted awake, his heart beating furiously against his chest. He sat up, the beads of sweat on his forehead rolling down his face. He gasped for breath. He reached his hands up to his face where he ran a hand through his short hair, his chest heaving in panic. He felt Rose reach for him in that moment as he focused on his irregular breathing, and after a moment, he allowed her to pull him close to her chest.

"They taunt me…" he whispered, his voice abruptly slicing through the darkness. "Every dream I have… I'm back there… and I don't know how I got there but I'm fighting a battle that…"

Tommy fell silent then, and he allowed himself to close his eyes against her bare bosom and listen to the sound of her heart as it soothed his panic. She remained quiet, allowing him the silence to speak when and if he wanted to.

"And Arthur and John are shot…" Tommy's voice was panicked at the thought of his brothers being hurt. "And I can't do anything to protect them because they're gone… just gone… like that…"

"Are the dreams all the same?" Rose asked, her voice full of sadness as she listened to Tommy recall his nightmare. She felt him shake his head against her chest.

"No," he said. "Some are, though. And some are different. But they all have the same ending…"

"What's that?" Rose asked, her voice hesitant.

Tommy remained silent for a moment before he took a deep breath. "I turn the gun on myself…"

Tommy felt her falter beneath him, and he closed his eyes knowing that it was hard to understood. It was even hard for him to understand his own actions in his dreams, and he would spend most of the day trying to comprehend them. His love for his brothers knew no bounds, and he would do anything for them. To live without them was almost unimaginable, and so he was able to see it from that instance despite it being hard to digest.

"But I wake up just before I do anything," Tommy continued. He felt Rose's hand turn his head to look at her, and it was in that moment that he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"You're not there anymore, Tommy," she whispered, her voice breaking. "And those dreams… they're not true…"

He found himself nodding sadly, as his eyes burned with tears.

"And the dreams we have aren't actual depictions of the events of war… but it's the replaying of our emotions that we felt in those moments that we remember," Rose continued sadly. "The fear that gripped us when faced with it, the helplessness we felt in our souls and the sadness we felt at coming home and leaving those men behind…"

They laid there in silence, with Tommy mulling over her words. She was right, all the dreams he had were based on the fear he felt. His brothers meant so much to him that the thought of them being taken away from him pained him more than he could ever explain to anyone. And though his brothers had returned home with him, neither one of them spoke about the troubles they faced daily, or the nightmares that waited for them in the shadows as soon as they were sleeping.

"Am I damaged?" he asked her, his voice hesitant.

"No," she whispered in response. "You just know how to survive, Tommy Shelby."

..

He would come and visit her every week after that, travelling on the canals with Charlie taking him there and back on his weekly work visits to the city. He would bid goodbye to Charlie before making his way to the hospital where he would meet her from work, and they would stop off at the fish and chip shop before they would walk back to the house with their dinner wrapped in newspaper.

They would walk the streets of London as if the whole world was at their feet. They would go dancing and see shows at the theatre. They would eat around the table with Hettie pouring endless amounts of whiskey and rum into their glasses. And as Hettie would leave the room, her bed beckoning her after too many beverages, they would move to in front of the fire where they would read, talk, and pick up where their letters would stop. They would make love to each other as night descended upon them and when the sun would make an appearance beckoning a new day.

"I remember what you told me over there," Tommy said one evening as they laid in bed with each other, their clothes discarded on the floor. "And it's always stuck with me in here."

Tommy laid a hand on his heart.

"Oh yes?" Rose whispered. "What was it?"

"May we all be lucky and die twice," Tommy repeated the words she had told him in the moment he needed that reassurance. "I've never forgotten them…"

"It's true, isn't it?" she asked him. "We aren't the same people that first went over there."

"I think that's why I love you," he declared.

Rose's eyes widened then, and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. "You love me?" she asked, to which he nodded.

"Aye," he whispered, his voice low enough for her to hear. "Never thought I'd be capable of loving someone but I know I love you."

Rose smiled tearfully at him. "I love you, too," she whispered, her voice faltering. She sat upright and shifted towards him, not caring if the sheets covered her body. She rested against his arm, enclosed between his arm and his bare chest. She placed her hands on either side of his face, and she felt as he wiped away the stray tear that fell with his free hand.

"I want to go back with you," she avowed. "To Small Heath…"

Tommy was taken aback. "Aye, it's a stark contrast to this, love."

"But it's your home," Rose whispered. "It made the person I love."

Tommy kissed her passionately then. "I'll take you back with me soon. We'll go back together."

Rose smiled widely at him. She settled down next to him, her head resting upon his chest. He stroked the length of her arm with his fingertips and felt the goosebumps rise to the surface of her skin.

"Just promise me one thing," Tommy began, after a moment. "When we get there… I don't want you to look at me differently."

..

 _Author's Note: Wow! Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter! It means so much to know you're all enjoying it! All reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated!_


	5. Part One: Chapter Four

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'_ _Sometimes I'm like a child  
It's something I can't release  
Dreams of her coming home, sweet home  
I'm telling you home so sweet'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER FOUR

Tommy had travelled down to London on the Thursday evening to meet her from work. They had planned for Rose to return to Birmingham with him the following day to spend the weekend with him and his family in Small Heath. It was something that unsettled him to his very core, and it wasn't just because he was worried that Rose would think of him differently but rather how his family would take to him bringing home a girl. His main concern was that of Aunt Pol's reaction, as he knew she wasn't one to hide her true feelings.

And though Rose hadn't known him before the war, she only knew the Tommy he was now. The Tommy he was before was kinder, more trusting, and tolerating of all. But now, he was harsher, wounded and dangerous. And he knew Rose only knew him so much, and he wasn't sure if love blinded her from seeing the true Tommy.

The train had arrived soon after they had arrived onto the platform, and they had found their seats in the carriage. As he stared somberly out of the large train window as fields and the countryside whizzed by him in a flash, he felt Rose's hand reach for his. His eyes met hers, and it was then that he allowed his façade to slip. Rose knew the real Tommy, and he hadn't needed to say a word for she knew. They allowed their attention to be taken by the beautiful countryside until the train pulled into the station.

The station was heaving with people as they stepped off the train, and Tommy reached for Rose's hand protectively and led her out of the station. She kept close to him as he weaved them in and out of crowds of people until they were on the street outside, the mad rush being left behind as they stepped out into the street hand in hand.

Small Heath welcomed him home once more, and he wondered how many times it would. The coal dusted houses, the sound of his men working filtered through the air as they closed the gap between themselves and his street. He felt her hand tighten around his and he threw a worried glance over at her. She offered him a nervous smile.

"I'm so nervous," she whispered to him. "I hope they like me."

Tommy pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her. He felt the nervousness cause a shiver to pulse through her body. "They're going to love you, I promise…"

He had called for a meeting before leaving for London, telling them that he needed to speak with them about the possible future. He had instructed them to be there at a certain time for their arrival. He knew it was time to introduce them to Rose, for she was an important part of his life and future. And though a part of him was worried at how they would find the news, he knew that it was time for her to be accepted into his family. He loved her, and she loved him, and the only thing standing in their way now was his family's acceptance.

They stopped outside the door and he turned to Rose. It took a moment to look up at him but when she did, she offered him the widest smile, albeit a nervous one. He grazed his thumb across her bottom lip for a moment, and watched as she took a deep breath. He planted a kiss on her forehead before knocking on the door.

As Tommy entered the house, seeing the faces of his family stare back at him, he felt relief wash over at him at the knowledge that his family would always be there for him whenever he needed them to be, no matter if the matter was a pressing one or not.

He noticed their gaze switch immediately and focus on Rose. He felt Rose's hand grip his hand tighter, and he gently rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. Rose glanced around the room at the new faces that watched her. She was able to identify them by the descriptions Tommy had given her in the conversations they had with each other.

Aunt Pol was stood by the kitchen; one hand on her hip and the other holding a cigarette, her narrowed gaze burning into her soul and brow furrowed.

Arthur – a man she had met briefly in France – sat by the warm fire, his eyes distant, with a bottle of rum gripped tightly in his hand, the bottle half drunk.

John – the second youngest Shelby brother – sat at the table, a cigarette in his lips, cap on his head with his eyes intensely watching her.

Ada sat beside John, a book open on the table in front of her, and her soft eyes watched Rose carefully. Her dark hair was short, cut to just above her chin.

"So, you're the business Tommy has been doing whilst in London," Aunt Pol mused, a hint of accusation in her voice. Her eyes were narrowed in on the auburn hair woman who stood close to Tommy. She saw Rose falter at her words, taken aback by the sharpness of her tone.

"Put your claws back in, Pol," Tommy said, his voice stern as if it was a warning for her to tread carefully. Once he saw Aunt Pol sigh in response and shrug her shoulders a little, he continued. "This is Rose… she was a nurse on the frontline with us men."

Arthur turned his attention over to them then, a hint of remembrance flashing across his face. He remained silent as his family inspected her appearance; the smart high waisted dress skirt and white blouse she wore underneath a maroon colored coat; her auburn hair styled with loose curls; her make-up was simple and serene. Tommy felt relief wash over him as she was accepted by Polly, the matriarch and backbone of the Shelby family, who simply nodded in her direction. For a woman like Polly, mused Tommy, that was enough for her to be recognized.

"Ada wants to be a nurse, don't ya, Ada?" John interjected, blowing the smoke of his cigarette up in the air above them.

Ada nodded, her eyes meeting Rose's. "It was a passing dream…"

"It's rewarding if you do pursue with it," Rose responded kindly. "Tough but incredible all at once."

"How long have you been nursing for?" Ada asked, her curiosity peaked.

"Five years," Rose answered. "I graduated a year before the war."

Rose fell silent in that moment, before adding. "Every day feels like the first day on the job though."

Ada nodded and smiled in her direction, her mind being made as the woman spoke with her. She had always wanted to be a nurse; it was something that young Ada had always wanted to achieve. Her caring nature had proved to her entire family that going into medicine would be where she would end up, but circumstances had somewhat prevented her from achieving that goal. As Rose and Ada spoke about nursing, Ada understood that the passion for helping people never went away.

As Tommy watched his love and his sister speak with each other, he moved over to Arthur. Arthur had turned his attention back to the fire as the glowing embers leaped and twirled in a fiery dance. Tommy took a seat in the armchair beside him, his eyes moving to his brother.

"How are you holding up, brother?" his voice was low enough for only Arthur to hear.

Arthur shrugged in response before speaking. "Every day is the same, Tommy."

"Are you sleeping better?"

"Nah, but this sure helps," Arthur lifted the bottle up and gave it a small shake, the liquid sloshing against the glass. "That and the warmth of a woman on some nights."

Tommy furrowed his brow then.

Arthur turned to his brother when his comment was met with silence. "Are _you_ sleeping better, brother?"

Tommy ignored his comment that was laced with sarcasm. He bit his tongue and sniffed. "I've been thinking, Arthur… I want to promote you in the business. More responsibility, more money… but there's one thing I want you to promise me."

"Anything, brother."

"I don't want you to piss your life up the wall," Tommy said, his voice stern. He saw his brother tense at the tone of his voice, knowing that Tommy needed his full attention. "I don't want you to rely on that bottle to see you through the day. I want you to heal… we all do…"

Arthur faltered then, before he nodded. He knew that the war had changed him more ways than he thought would ever be possible. He was harsher, angrier, and that wasn't him.

"Would you be my right-hand man?"

Arthur's face lit up then at Tommy's proposition, and he nodded profusely. He placed the bottle of rum on the floor next to him, as if discarding his urges for what was right. Though Arthur's reaction was everything he wanted it to be, Tommy could still see the pain knitting his brows together and the fact that his smile never reached his eyes, just like it never did with him.

"Brother…" Arthur began, his voice strong albeit a little drunk. "It would be an honor."

"Don't let me down," Tommy warned.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Tommy," Arthur said, shaking his brothers hand.

"Good…" Tommy replied. "Because we start Monday."

..

Billy Kimber had been a known figure in and around Birmingham. He controlled the racecourses in the Midlands and the North, as well as forming alliances with smaller organizations to gather more attention that ultimately gained him a lot of business. As his business and pockets grew, he not only made friends but also made a lot of enemies along the way.

He didn't always have a business mind, and never took notice of the business his father was in control of. The one thing that seemed to fuel him more than anything was the money. Greed was at the forefront of most of Kimber's actions, something that never seemed to cease as the war raged on. As he fought amongst thousands upon thousands of men who laid down their lives for the heart of the country, he spent most of his time thinking of ways he could fill his pockets even more upon his return home.

Tommy Shelby watched the man in front of him turn his nose up at the wine offered to him in the restaurant, and tried with all the willpower in the world to keep his facial expressions neutral. If Tommy was being truthfully honest, he was expecting someone completely different. Once Kimber had ordered food from the menu, reeling off various amounts of dishes, Tommy coughed to break the silence.

"Thank you for coming here on short notice," Tommy said, his tone calm. He watched as Kimber glanced up at him and shrugged.

"Business speaks volumes, Shelby," he responded, handing the menu to the waiter before shooing him away. Tommy nodded at the waiter graciously before he moved away from them.

"That it does," Tommy agreed. "I wanted to propose something to you. Something that I'm sure you can get behind."

"Do go on," Kimber stated. "I'm only here for a short amount of time."

Tommy narrowed his gaze at him before swallowing the curt response he wanted to retort with.

"I'm thinking of venturing into races," Tommy began. "And I understand that racecourses are your forte."

"Do you have any experience, Shelby, with racecourses, or is it solely because you've heard of the money behind them?" Kimber asked, his voice almost accusing.

Tommy thought for a moment before sitting up straighter. "Neither, in fact. I just love horses."

Kimber laughed out loud. "We all love horses, Tommy. You don't go into business just because you love something. That's like saying you enjoy going to whore houses for the conversation."

Kimber's men chortled in response to his comment, though there was no reaction from Tommy.

Tommy allowed a smirk to form on his lips after the laughter had died down. "You see… I have horses. A lot of them. We could forge a business where you use my horses to gain more business."

"And how would that work?"

"My horses are professionally trained to win every race they're in," Tommy explained. "No one bets on the newcomer, do they?"

Kimber's curiosity seemed to have been peaked as the man narrowed his eyes at Tommy. "That's true…"

"They go with old favourites," Tommy explained further. "They go with the ones that won them a lot of money last time. But let's say we bring the big guns, we get them to bet on their usual ones, and then… out of nowhere, they lose. And my horses win…"

"So, let me get this straight…" Kimber began. "You want to fix the races?"

"I never said that," Tommy said. "You're putting words into my mouth there, Kimber. We all need to put food on our tables, don't we? So, why not make sure we have a feast?"

Kimber was silent, and Tommy wondered if his proposal had been too eager for someone like Kimber. The man was the controller of every business he ventured into, and Tommy had been working to his own strengths when it came to forge a life for him and his family. He knew Kimber wouldn't want to miss out on a big win. As Kimber digested the business proposal, Tommy couldn't help but wonder if the man was the right one to go into business with. He had a track record that spoke volumes in a good and bad light.

"Fine…" Kimber announced after a moment. "But on one condition… you betray me, Shelby, and I will take everything you love away. Do you understand?"

Tommy nodded and extended his hand in his direction. "Duly noted. And the same goes to you, Kimber."

..

It was later in the evening when Tommy Shelby arrived back to the house. As soon as he stepped foot through the door, with Arthur taking note of the nod he gave him, the older Shelby brother announced that the Garrison Pub would be where they would spend their evening. The setting stones for the new business venture had been put in place, and all they would have to do is wait until Monday to truly start.

Aunt Pol threw a grimace in Arthur's direction. "And why do we have to go to the Garrison?"

"A celebration, of course!" Arthur responded, bounding towards her. "Tommy has sorted some business out, and he's brought a girl home for the first time in his life… and today has been a good day. Ain't that enough to celebrate?"

"What business, Tommy?" Aunt Pol questioned, her voice worried. Tommy noted the lack of volume in her voice, the worry furrowing her brow. He noticed that Rose looked over at them at that moment.

"The horses…" Tommy started. "I've found someone who will put them in the races."

"That's wonderful, Tommy!" Aunt Pol chimed. "About bloody time, though."

"Good things take time, Pol," Tommy reminded her. "And I agree with Arthur… we don't have a lot of things to celebrate but he's onto something today."

Tommy moved towards Rose and grabbed her coat from the coat stand, and assisted her with putting it on. Tommy noticed the way Polly was watching them, and furrowed his brow at her observation. He knew that, though she had accepted it for the most part, there was still something that she was worried about. He knew he would have to speak with her later to reassure her about the things she fretted about. And it was understandable, but she didn't need to worry about him anymore.

"Come on," Arthur hollered loudly throughout the house.

"Alright, Arthur," Ada spoke up as she came down the stairs. "I'm pretty sure dad could hear you, wherever he is."

As the family filed out of the house and made their way to the pub, Aunt Pol pulled Rose aside. Tommy, Arthur, John and Ada walked ahead oblivious as they slowed to an unhurried walk.

"I just want you to forget about all the niceties today for a moment," Aunt Pol began, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "This is about Tommy at the end of the day, and his wellbeing is paramount to me."

"You needn't worry," Rose whispered. "I love him very much."

"Tommy may have accepted you in his life, and for whatever good reason that is," Aunt Pol continued, ignoring Rose's words. "I haven't. And I never will. So, you better believe that if you ever hurt him in which ever way you do, I will be the one to take care of you."

"I'm guessing not in a good way?" Rose asked, her heart racing and voice panicked.

"You don't strike me as dumb or uneducated," Aunt Pol surmised. "You could've chosen anyone, why Tommy?"

Rose answered, emotionally. "I love him, isn't that enough?"

"Not in our world," Aunt Pol dismissed her. "We're Shelby's."

Rose furrowed her brow at that statement but never allowed another word to escape her.

"You look out of place here in Small Heath, Rose," Aunt Pol continued, her voice low and curt. "You've seen where he comes from so I'm surprised you didn't scarper as soon as you got here."

As Polly waited for an answer, she was unaware of the figure approach them in that moment.

"You think that, Pol?"

Aunt Pol jolted in shock. She turned to Tommy then, with deep regret set heavy upon her shoulders. She noticed that Tommy's gaze was on Rose who sobbed in response to her observation.

"I didn't mean it that way," Aunt Pol responded. "It's just…"

"It's just what?" he asked, his voice hurt.

"Look at her…" Aunt Pol whispered. "She doesn't belong here…"

"I may not 'belong' here as you say," Rose interjected then, her voice quivering. "But I care about Tommy, and I understand your need to protect him. I really do. But I love him more than anything in this world, and I hope you can see that."

Aunt Pol remained bravely strong for a moment, before she allowed her pain to creep into her heart. It was never too far away, and in moments where she doubted everything, it weaved its way back into her life. For four whole years, she had believed she would receive a letter in the post telling her that one of the boys would not return home. She had spent so much of that time panicking and wondering if the last time she had seen them would be the last, and it pained her every single day knowing that she couldn't do anything to keep them safe. She kept them in her prayers, but she surmised that it only went so far.

"I thought I would lose you," Aunt Pol's voice failed on her then and she allowed the tears to fall freely from her eyes. "I was scared none of you would come back home where you all belonged. And you all came back… and I'm scared that…"

"You ain't going to lose us," Tommy promised, all anger and disappointment gone from his voice. "We ain't the same, sure, but we're still here. We came home."

Aunt Pol nodded sadly. "You came home…"

"And I love this girl," Tommy motioned towards Rose. "She helped me when the world was dark, and I believed that death was the only answer. But she has made me feel alive again, and her words of comfort in the moments after my accident saved my life. And that should be enough for you to accept her into the family because that is something I want more than anything."

And it seemed in that moment that all of Polly's fears for Tommy vanished for she knew he didn't decide on things without reason, and as he pulled Rose close to him it was evident that his love for Rose knew no bounds.

But the Shelby life was never that simple.

And sometimes life had a way of reminding them that.

..

 _Author's Note: Thank you for the amazing response to the last chapter - it made me so incredibly happy to know you all enjoyed it! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated, thank you!_


	6. Part One: Chapter Five

_Author's Note: First of all, I just wanted to wish all my readers a Happy New Year! This chapter was supposed to go up on Christmas Eve, but it just didn't want to be written as planned and I'm pretty happy with how it's turned out! Secondly, I have big plans for this story, and I am so excited for it all to unfold. And lastly, I just want to thank you all for the support and love you have shown this story since I uploaded it - I absolutely love writing this story so much, and I'm so happy you are all enjoying it! Reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated - hope you enjoy!_

 _.._

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'_ _Said you reminded me of the summer times,  
I still mean that,  
In a full room I'm the only one she's smiling at'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER FIVE

Tommy Shelby was never a man who celebrated his birthday.

Each passing birthday represented resentment towards the one man who was never in attendance to celebrate his day with him; the endless amount of hours staring out of the window with him clinging onto the ever fading hope that always seemed to cling to him when he wanted his father to show him the love he had always been fighting for; and now as he grew older and understood that his father would never return if it didn't involve money of some kind, he wrote the day off and resumed his life. His family had learned to stop wishing him a happy birthday and they, too, would spend the day as normal as possible.

But as another birthday crept upon him slowly, he understood the true meaning of spending a birthday surrounded by those he loved. His family had always been supportive of his wish to not celebrate the day, but as he saw the excitement within Rose grow with each passing day, he couldn't help but feel a little lighter. The weight of his fathers missing presence had always weighed him down heavily, and as he reached the mature age of twenty-eight, he thought it time to truly shed the pain his father made him feel underneath and allow it to wash away with the rain that drizzled down his window as the clock struck midnight.

"Happy birthday," Rose whispered in his ear as she moved closer towards him. He was sat in the armchair that faced the window with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His eyes lifted to her as she wrapped her tender arms around him and laid her head in the crevice of his neck. Goosebumps scattered across his skin as she placed a gentle kiss upon his neck.

"Thank you," Tommy whispered and moved his head to the right where her head was resting and placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead in return. They kept their gaze upon each other for a short moment before she disentangled herself from him and moved towards the bed, kicking off her shoes and climbing upon the mattress. She allowed the wall to correct her posture, tired from a long and late shift at the hospital.

Tommy watched as she kept her eyes closed for a few moments, allowing his eyes to sweep across her hair that had once been in a tight bun but now had strands of hair trying to escape; the softness of her face as she allowed herself the opportunity to relax; the way she absentmindedly curled her feet up beneath her so that she was sitting cross legged on the bed. After a moment, her eyes met his and she smiled widely though it never reached her eyes.

"We had a soldier come in today," she began, her eyes moving away from him. "His wife had brought him in after she found him slumped in the corner of their bedroom. His wrists had been slashed and he had written 'make it all stop' on their bedroom wall."

Tommy remained silent, allowing the space to talk. And deep down, she was grateful for that. He understood how hard her job was sometimes, and sometimes her work couldn't always be left by the door. She needed to talk to someone about what she'd seen, and over time, he had wanted to be that person.

"He still hears the gunshots, the screams and cries of his friends dying around him, the final gasps for breath of his comrades," she whispered, her voice shaking as she recalled the memory. "He was twenty-one, and his wife was barely twenty. So young, and so damaged from the war."

"Is he…" Tommy faltered then, unwilling to ask his question. He knew the demons he faced each and every day that he sometimes forgot the battles being fought by other men who had been there alongside him.

Rose offered a gentle shake to her head and looked down at her hands. Though they were clean, she could still see remnants of blood around and underneath her nails, stuck between the deep crevices of her palm. "It had already taken him. We had made him stable, thankful that he hadn't cut through his vital veins, but… we went to check on him a short while later and he had found a scalpel and cut his throat open. The blood… no matter how careful you are, it seeps into everything…"

Her voice trailed off and Tommy watched her with sad eyes as she battled with herself. He understood how her mind worked; she always wanted to help those in need and found it difficult to overcome the pain and guilt she would feel when life was out of her control. Tommy stood and closed the gap between them, and sat next to her on the bed. He passed her the glass of whiskey where she took it and downed it in one go. He took the glass from her once she was done and placed it on the bedside table.

And he held her until she fell asleep, and for him, that was the greatest gift he had ever received.

..

He woke the next morning to find himself alone in bed.

He tenderly laid a hand upon the pillow, the coolness of the pillow prickling at his fingertips; and he opened his eyes to find Rose gone. She had fallen asleep on him, and as the night grew on, they had found themselves settling down on the bed; Tommy spooning and holding Rose close to him, and she clung onto him as if her life depended on it. He felt the way she would move in her sleep, coming face to face with him and holding tighter than he ever thought was possible.

The intimacy was something he never knew he needed in his life; and the bond that both shared was something he could never truly explain. His heart and mind felt as one, and he knew she felt it too. They had seen so much pain in both their short lives, and yet, here they were in that moment: together and close, the way it was meant to be.

He rested his elbows on the bed, pulling himself up and scanning the room with his tired eyes. The clothes he wore the day before were still on his body, except for his boots. They were placed neatly underneath his coat that was hung from the coat stand. The room was warm despite the fire having been put out at some point, whether manually or naturally. He glanced over at the door, just as it opened and revealed Rose.

Her eyes immediately fell on him and she offered him a wide smile before closing the door behind her. She closed the gap between them, allowing him to pull her onto the bed with him the closer she got to him. Rose held his face in her hands and scattered kisses upon his face: on his eyelids where his lashes tickled her lips; his jawline that was prickly against her soft lips; his cheekbones that rose and fell like small mountains; his forehead where he often wore a furrowed brow; his lips that tasted of cigarettes and whisky and love. He wrinkled his nose at the assault of her soft kisses, and once she had finished with one last kiss upon his lips, he stared up at her and stared into her eyes. Rose stared back at him with so much love in her heart.

"I have a surprise for you," she whispered after a moment.

"Aye," Tommy smirked, bringing his hand up and skimming his rough thumb against her plump bottom lip. "And what is it?"

"I can't tell you," Rose smirked, placing a small kiss upon his thumb. "Not just yet. It's a surprise."

Tommy chuckled, rolling his eyes playfully. "When can I get this surprise?"

Rose mused, biting her lip and tearing her eyes away from his. "This evening," she said. "But only if you're good. I have a lot of surprises for you today before the huge one."

"There's other surprises?" he asked, his brow furrowing. "You know, I don't like celebrating birthdays."

"I know," Rose nodded. "You've never celebrated a birthday with me before."

"That must be it," Tommy smirked. "I hope all of your little surprises happen in this bed because all I want to do today is to hold you close to me."

Rose beamed with a smile so bright, but shook her head guiltily. "Unfortunately not, Mr. Shelby. We have a show this afternoon that I was able to get tickets to. They're called the Original Dixieland Jass Band. My friends have been raving about them for weeks. And I thought, we could go along and check them out."

"That sounds… fun," Tommy smiled. "Is that everything?"

"No, Tommy," Rose beamed. "It's just the beginning."

..

The show had been everything they expected and more.

It had been a surprise at first as they listened to the different type of music their ears were not accustomed to, but they rather enjoyed the enthusiastic performance from all members of the band. The crowd applauded and hollered, and the afternoon surprise had been a success. Rose had watched Tommy from the corner of eye, allowing her to watch him in the dimly lit room at the act on stage; his eyes widened in awe at the music that filled his ears, his mouth turned up in a smile as all thoughts and feelings faded away for just that moment. She had held his hand tightly, feeling the overwhelming love for him beginning to take its toll on her and she knew in that moment that Tommy had given more happiness than she ever would have believed in the first few moments of meeting all those years ago.

It seemed strange to comprehend the hardship they had to face, together and separately, during their time in France. The death, the loss, the fear… it was all unnecessary and yet it made them find each other. Would her life be different if she hadn't met Tommy, injured and unconscious, that early morning when the bomb had gone off? Would she have found the light in the darkness she often felt cloak around her when her dreams were invaded with memories of what she had seen over there?

He had been there, in her life, when her issues plagued her daily life and when life seemed too dark for her to cope with. He was there to hold her in the dark, just like she held him when the nightmares grasped hold of him. He had made love to her many times, and it was in those moments, in the quiet hours, where their bodies would be bare of all clothing that they truly felt alive. Scars that scattered their bodies would be seen, kissed and appreciated. The fears and worry would fade into the night and it would just be the two of them against the world.

After the show, Rose took him for a walk along the Thames. Hand in hand, hearts pounding with love and adoration, and their cheeks rosy from the cool weather. Though it was spring time, the winter still clung on, grasping at the air that surrounded them, biting and nipping at them. They settled at a bench, their gazes upon the passing boats.

Rose opened her bag and pulled out a small package wrapped with ribbon. Tommy's eyes fell on the present first and then onto her. He knew money was scarce for Rose, but it seemed the girl he loved had saved her wages.

"I got this for you," Rose spoke then, a timid smile playing at her lips. "It's just a little something, you know. I saw it and just knew it was yours."

She passed the present to Tommy who took it gently. He pulled at the ribbon slightly, watching as it loosened around the package, and slowly opened it up. Inside was a box that contained a gold pocket watch. The letters T.S. were inscribed on the inside of the watch, and as he watched the hands ticking by and the soft tick filling his ears, he couldn't help but allow a wide smile to etch across his face.

Tommy looked up and met Rose's watchful gaze. He reached for her then, took her hand in his and pulled her closer to him. "I love it," he whispered. "It's wonderful. Thank you, Rose."

She smiled widely, relieved. "I'm so happy you like it."

"How did you know?"

"I would watch you in your three-piece herringbone suit and thought something's missing," Rose explained. "And I was walking to work one morning and found it in the window of a store and I just knew that it was yours."

"It must've cost you a lot," Tommy said, his voice low and guilty.

Rose blushed slightly and shrugged. "I love you. That's all that matters."

Tommy closed the gap between them, brushing his lips against hers. Their kiss was short and sweet, and a confirmation of their feelings and the change in their relationship. Since the moment they first met, Tommy believed he wouldn't pull through. The words that she spoke to him in his moment of need had been everything he had wanted to hear; peaceful and reassuring. His injuries hadn't been life-threatening, but in his state of shock, he didn't know if he would ever see another sunrise or sunset, if he would ever see his family again, if he would ever experience love the way he had hoped to. Never did he ever comprehend just how different his life would be like from that moment on.

"Come," Rose whispered, breaking apart from him. "I have another surprise. And I promise, this is the last one."

..

Rose led Tommy to the restaurant a short walk away from the town. As they walked up the steps, Tommy felt immediately out of place, which for him was weird to comprehend. The restaurant and bar were fancier than he was ever accustomed to, and as he watched the patrons continue to enjoy their meal in peace without their gazes moving to him and silently judging him, he felt as though he could truly blend in with people on a different scale to him. The Garrison was for any man who worked hard and enjoyed a drink after a long day at work. The Amber Grove was nothing short of exquisite.

As Tommy and Rose were led to the back room, Rose clung to his arm excitedly. The surprises for his birthday that all led up to this one was small and sentimental; something she had hoped he would enjoy. The show had been something new for the two of them, and she hoped was a signal of new things to come in their relationship. The pocket watch was something for Tommy to enjoy and remember this day as something special whenever he would look at it. And the final surprise was what she hoped he would enjoy the most; bringing his life into hers slightly.

The receptionist opened the door to the large grand hall, and as Tommy stared into the seemingly empty room, he turned to Rose and raised his brows amusedly. She smirked at him, and after a moment, she motioned for him to consider the room once more.

She coughed falsely.

"Surprise!"

The faces of his family appeared from the shadows, and he watched with wide eyes as everyone he knew came into view. Aunt Pol was arm in arm with Ada; Arthur was stood with John; and surprisingly, his father stood there, a grin upon his features, a glass of whisky in his hand. If circumstances were different, he would've nodded in his father's direction, acknowledging his return into his life, even if it was just for one day. All his hopes and dreams as a child had come true, for his father was there. If things had been different, he mused.

Except his father was not the man who held his attention, but rather the man standing behind him, at the bar that was now accepting customers. His two worlds had collided, and it had all been out of his control.

And as if on cue, the man turned to him with a glass in hand. Kimber raised it into the air with a sickening grin and Tommy felt his entire world shift.


	7. Part One: Chapter Six

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'_ _Wouldn't you let me know if you were thinking less of me?  
That's what she asked me what was promised what we both agreed,  
Truthfully if you ever go, you'll drop me straight to Hell's seventh circle'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER SIX

Rose felt Tommy tense beside her. Her hand was in his, having led him into the darkened room a mere few moments ago, but as she turned to him, her worry causing her brow to furrow, she felt as his hand tightened around hers. She winced slightly as she was pulled closer to him.

"Tommy?" her voice filled the air around them, only audible for the both of them to hear. After a moment, he turned to her with a worrisome expression on his face. "Is everything okay?"

"How did you get everyone here?" Tommy asked, his voice sharp and bitter. "How did you invite these people?"

"I, uh…" Rose thought for a moment. "I asked Aunt Pol to invite people you know, especially those in and around London. Is something the matter?"

"And Kimber? Why did you invite Kimber?"

She searched the room, not knowing where she was looking and who she should be looking at. And though Tommy remained tightlipped and quiet and never once made motion towards the man he called Kimber, she wasn't exactly sure who she was to focus her attention on. She hadn't heard the name Kimber before, and she could only assume that Aunt Pol had invited him. But from Tommy's demeanor, she knew he was someone Tommy wasn't expecting to see.

"I have no idea," Rose explained. "She must've found him in your contact book. Honestly, Tommy, I just thought it would be nice… I didn't know who to invite so I just put Pol in charge…"

Tommy pulled her to him, and she yelped at the sudden movement. She felt his breath upon her neck as he spoke close to her ear. "You don't know who I work with, Rose. You have no idea what they're capable of…"

Sirens began to ring inside Rose's head as she moved away from Tommy; the strength of his hand wrapped tightly around her arm unwavering and painful, the pure venom upon his face as he stared intensely at her, his breathing erratic. She pulled away from him as much as she could, but his hand was never moving her arm.

"Tommy… you're hurting me," she winced, her voice full of terror and panic. Her voice pierced through him and hit him like a bullet to the heart, and he was finally able to see the fear in her eyes, feel the shiver to her body as anxiety overwhelmed her. He released her, his mind racing as he hadn't realised just how tightly he was holding onto her arm.

He moved towards her, but she took a frantic step back. She was holding her arm close to her body, her tearful eyes staring at him, and it was then that it hit him, she hadn't known that part of him. The one that was full of anger and violence, and one who was always bubbling under the surface of the calm and collected stance he portrayed to the world.

"Rose," Tommy urged but she only backed away from him more. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to, it's just…"

Rose slipped away from him then, followed by Ada who had witnessed the whole thing. As Tommy looked around at the people around him, he could see a few gazes upon him, having seen his outburst. He felt a hot wave hit him and wash over him, but as his gaze remained on Rose as she weaved further and further away from him, he knew he had to keep his composure. Kimber was here, and there wasn't much he could do about that. All he could do was keep his head above water, and ensure that Kimber didn't get too close to Rose. The very fact that the man was in the same room as his family unsettled him; it was too close, too personal, and his mind whirred as he tried to figure out what to do. The whole basis of business was to be kept separate from family, and the lines were now blurred.

His gaze moved away from Rose for a moment, and turned to Kimber who only smirked in return and seemingly enjoying the small outburst that had erupted from him. He searched for Rose, his eyes searching the heads and faces that surrounded him, and he found her after a moment to find that she had found comfort with Ada who handed her a drink. She took it shakily and sipped the bitter liquid. Tommy motioned towards Arthur and John who slipped through the crowd towards him in an instant, and he could tell from the way their eyes were always searching the room, that they were on high alert.

"Kimber's on our turf," Tommy muttered low enough for just his brothers to hear. "His invitation here this evening was a mistake. John, you keep him away from Rose. Arthur, you stay by my side."

But it seemed as though Tommy was a flame and Kimber was a moth, for when Tommy turned around, Kimber was stood there with his men standing beside him. Arthur and John stuck close to Tommy, knowing that the man's actions were irrational and crazy.

"You have a nice thing there, Tommy," Kimber began, his head turning towards Rose. Tommy followed his gaze and felt his stomach drop. "It would be a shame, wouldn't it, if something happened to her. You see, I don't trust you. You've given me no reason to trust you just yet, and I'm hoping it isn't too late for you to redeem yourself."

"Why are you here tonight?" Tommy asked, his jaw clenched.

"I wasn't invited, Tommy, if that's what you're thinking," Kimber explained, and took a sip of his drink. "Do you honestly think I'd be seen dead here if I didn't have a reason for my being here? No. I heard about this little birthday surprise through the grapevine."

"Then why are you here?" Arthur seethed in response. His protectiveness for his brother knew no bounds, and it was obvious that he cared for his brother and family more than he would ever be able to explain.

"She loves you," Kimber acknowledged. "Women are fickle when they're in love, aren't they? They moan about things that you do yet they still pick your dirty underwear off the floor because they love you."

Tommy felt his gaze fall on Rose again who felt the burn of his upon her and turned to him. And it was then that he saw it; the way her eyes betrayed her in ways neither one had ever seen before. She was scared of Tommy and his reaction in that moment, and he couldn't seem to shake the anguish he felt grasp at his heart. He had frightened her. He had always been sweet to her, kind, and loving, and his outburst had unraveled all those ties he tried so hard to keep tight.

"You wouldn't want anything to happen to her now, would you?" Kimber's threat was heard loud and clear, and Tommy dropped his gaze onto the short statured man and with a grimace, Tommy watched as he continued to make threats. It was as if he needed to hear them to ensure that Kimber and his men would never be able to do them to Rose. "All I have to do is give my men behind her there a small nod and they'll reach over, place his hands around her face and snap her neck. She will drop like a fly. You betray me, Tommy, and that pretty little thing is gone."

Rose came into view again then, and Tommy watched with nausea washing over him as the barman looked at him and gave him a short wave. He felt his skin prickle with anxiety as the barman passed Rose a drink, with both his sister and lover unaware of the potential threat behind them.

Kimber made to leave then, but stopped. He turned to Tommy, grabbed a fistful of shirt and pulled him towards him. "You hear me? You betray me and she's dead. Just don't promise her the world, Tommy, when you can't keep her safe this evening."

Kimber raised his hand and clicked three times, and Tommy observed half of the men in the room stand and fall the man out of the room. The faces of the men he didn't recognize was startling and it was obvious that Kimber had ensured the whole thing had been protected with his men. He had needed to make himself known, had needed to ensure that his threats were heard in the safety of the room where Tommy and his men were unable to do anything about it. He had needed Tommy's reaction to remain neutral, but he knew there was a fire burning deep down inside the man.

"What do you want to do, Tommy?" Arthur asked, his voice quivering with anger. "You want us to follow them out there and give them a piece of their own medicine?"

"No." Tommy said sharply. "They will kill Rose if you do anything. We enjoy our night, boys."

"You're not going to do anything?" John asked. "He threatened you. He threatened us."

"You don't understand," Tommy seethed. "He wants us like this. He knows we can't do anything to him. He made his threats known and we've heard them loud and clear, but they're just going to stay that way until after the races. We keep our heads clear and noses clean, Arthur. We don't start shooting off our mouths, okay? Rose's life has been threatened, and let me tell you now, he's dead for that. He doesn't have the right to threaten her life and get away with it. His time is coming, boys. And we'll have front row seats."

"The cheeky little shit," Arthur seethed.

"We enjoy the night as if nothing happened," Tommy explained. "Keep an eye on Rose for me. I need to go speak with Aunt Pol."

..

He told her everything. The business deal, the threats Kimber had made against Rose, the worry he felt inside. And Aunt Pol had listened to him above the music and chatter that erupted throughout the room. She had listened to him as an aunt with no judgement, which Tommy was grateful for. Tommy had laid himself bare in front of her and had told her everything she had needed to know from the very beginning, and it was obvious that he was struggling with the threats that Kimber had made. They weren't sitting well with him, and Aunt Pol had to roll her eyes at that.

"Of course, they wouldn't, Tommy," she had said. "You love the girl and he sees that. He knew instantly that you had something to lose and he's latched onto that like the weed that he is. You're not stupid, Tommy. You know what you need to do. Play it safe, reap the rewards and then get the girl. Don't get greedy because you'll lose everything. And he knows that."

And she was right. Aunt Pol always had the answers he needed to hear. He had always been headstrong and determined but Aunt Pol had always protected them so much over the years. And though they were much older now, they were still the same scarred boys that turned up at her doorstep all those years ago. Their mother had just died during childbirth, and their father had brought them to her door in the middle of the night; unsure of what to do after the death of his wife. Three boys aged fifteen, twelve and seven and one girl aged five bundled up in the only clothes they had, with their Arthur Shelby Sr. holding the new bundle of the family.

And from that day forward, her door had been open to the family. And even though their father didn't stay that long, they had grown up within the walls of the small house in Small Heath and she had brought them up as if they were her own. Her sister had been the best mother she had ever been witness to, and her loss had been felt through the years, and she had tried to her utmost best to ensure all the children received the same care and love they were used to.

"I've never given up on any of you," Aunt Pol had said. "But this is serious, Tommy. And I'm not giving up on you now. We'll get through this. We're Shelby's, after all."

"But Rose…"

"I'll handle it," Aunt Pol reassured. "Harm will not come to your girl, I can promise you."

..

Night had descended upon London, and the restaurant was beginning to close. The guests that had come to celebrate Tommy's birthday all filed out of the doors; their shouts of merriment filling the streets outside. As they all descended towards their hotel rooms all over London, Tommy found Rose finishing her drink. She refused to look at him as she downed the liquid, instantly regretting it as she stood up. Tommy reached for her and held her up with his strong hands.

She pulled away from him and he followed after her, noticing the way her body swayed cautiously. He wasn't sure just how much she'd had to drink but he knew he couldn't leave her be despite her telling him to go away.

As they stepped out of the restaurant, the air seemed to overwhelm her in that moment and the rush of alcohol washed over her. He instinctively reached for her arm to guide and steady her, and when she didn't move away from him, he knew she was okay. He guided her as much as she wanted him to, and when she pulled away from him, he allowed her to step away from him; watching as she drunkenly stopped and stared into the windows of stores that surrounded them.

"Come, Rose," Tommy muttered as he closed the gap between them, but she shrugged him off.

"I don't need you to help me, Tommy," she muttered.

"Rose, listen to me," Tommy said, leading her away from another shop window. "I'm trying to get you home."

Rose stood still then, and folded her arms. Tommy came to a halt then, frustrated. He placed his hands on his hips as he watched her turn her gaze away from him. Tommy had never met someone as stubborn as Rose, and even though in that moment all he wanted to do was to take her home and sleep, he couldn't help but love her a little more. He didn't want an argument, but he knew his actions had been wrong, and Rose had spent all evening avoiding him despite his many attempts at trying to apologize to her.

"I don't want to go home," Rose said. "Not with you."

Tommy nodded then, but made no attempt to move. He knew she was hurt, and she was trying to lash out at him. The alcohol had given her liquid confidence and he knew it was the drink talking. He met her gaze and he knew from the way her eyes stared back at him tearfully that she didn't mean anything she was saying. She was hurt, and he had been the one who had hurt her.

"I can find my own way back," Rose said adamantly, standing taller. "You can go back with your family. I'm fine on my own."

Rose began to walk away from him, taking the lead. The sound of her heels colliding with the cobbled stone ground filled their senses, and with a sigh, Tommy followed after her. He kept at a distance from her, knowing that she didn't want him anywhere near her. She turned back after a moment and caught his figure behind her, but it seemed as though her feet hadn't gotten the memo of her wanting to turn around and she stumbled, her foot catching the ground and she fell to the ground. She fell hard on the ground and she yelped in pain as she collided with the cold stone beneath her.

"Ah fuck," she muttered, cradling her hand in her other hand. The street lights only offered a small amount of light, but she was able to see the cut to her hand.

Tommy raced towards her and was by her side in a small moment. He knelt beside her and lifted her slowly, noticing the yelps emitting from her as she put pressure upon her knee. She fell back down to the ground, the pain seeping through her drunkenness.

"I'm going to lift you up, okay?" Tommy asked to which Rose softly nodded, tears staining her face. Tommy lifted her in one easy attempt, and he carried her home.

During their walk home, both were silent despite the closeness of their bodies. Rose was struggling with the sharp pain to her body and the sadness in her heart, and Tommy was wanting to reassure her that everything was going to be okay. But both remained silent until they reached Rose's home. She worked with him and opened the locked door with her key, with the both of them careful of the noises they were making. Once they were inside, she locked the door behind them and allowed him to carry her upstairs to the bathroom.

He placed her gently on the floor, and moved the wooden chair to where she was stood. She took a seat and winced as she began to remove her items of clothing. Her tights were the first to be removed and she closed her eyes as the dried blood made it difficult to take them off with ease. Tommy knelt beside her then and took over, careful to not pull them off too quickly. He slid them off her legs that were now stained with blood from the cuts to her knees. He helped her out of her dress, the endless buttons proving difficult for her in her drunken state, and it was only when she was sat in her underwear that he noticed the way her shoulders slumped with sadness.

Tommy remained silent as he cleaned her up; stopping when she winced every time he placed the cold compress against her scratched skin.

"Are you a dangerous man, Tommy?"

Her voice seemed cold and uncertain, unlike her usual sweet tone. Her question caused him to stop what he was doing, and his hand remained above her knee.

"I heard things this evening," she added, her tone almost exhausted. "I asked Ada about what you do as business and she hesitated. And I know you should listen to the silence after you ask a question because then you're able to hear things that you either want to hear or you don't."

"What did she say?" Tommy fell back until he sat down inside of her.

"Nothing," Rose answered. "She said absolutely nothing, and I knew then that you aren't the man I thought you were."

Tommy nodded and kept his gaze upon her as she worked things out.

"I noticed things about you that I just thought would happen the once," Rose continued. "But then it happened all the time. People would move out of the way for you as we would walk down the street. They would get scared just by your presence. And I began to wonder who you are when you're not with me. Who are you, Tommy?"

"You want to know who I am? I'm not a good man," Tommy stated. "I've done terrible, awful things to other men."

"What do you do to them?"

"I hurt them," Tommy explained.

"Do you kill them?" Rose's voice faltered at her own question. She closed her eyes for a moment before she stared at him.

"If I need to, yes." he answered, and she nodded slowly. "Does that make you think any differently of me?"

"I don't know," Rose said after a moment. She placed her head in her hands.

"I'm not the devil," Tommy explained further. "The war... it changes you. It's no excuse but it does. I do those things to stop the voices in my head."

* * *

 _Author's Note: Thank you so much for the love on the last chapter. A slightly longer chapter now that begins to get into the core action, and I'm so excited! Hope you enjoy! Please review, I'd love to know what you think!_

 _For any readers wondering the length of this story, I have been able to plan quite far ahead. Each part will consist of 10 chapters! The story will follow certain events seen in the show but it won't include everything as I don't want to write what we've already seen, and I'm so excited to share with you what I've got planned for this story. I love this story so much, and I'm so grateful that you guys are enjoying it too! Thank you so much for your ongoing support for this - it makes me so happy to know you are liking it!  
_


	8. Part One: Chapter Seven

_Author's Note: Quite an angsty chapter ahead! I'd love to know what you think! Enjoy!_

* * *

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _'_ _And I was talking with you earlier,  
We were open and vulnerable, it was wonderful,  
I, I used to dream that you would talk to me,  
I used to dream that you would talk to me'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER SEVEN

The bathroom had been thrown into an unwavering silence at the revelations coming from Tommy Shelby. He spoke honestly with Rose about what he was capable of doing to another man, the anger and pain he felt inside at every moment of every day that never seemed to ease no matter what he tried to do to stop it. He spoke about how he often felt like he was in a hurricane; his entire body shaking as his mind tried to remain calm and rationalize the feelings he felt within himself.

She had remained silent, listening to every word that escaped him, and he was witness to the sheer concern in her eyes. Her gaze would be weave from him in moments where she needed to look away at the brutality of his descriptions, her hands tightly grasped together as she felt as though she needed to hold tighter to the reality that surrounded her. He never raised his voice nor allowed it to fill with the anger and venom that seeped into his veins, knowing that if he did, she would leave the room and he would've lost her completely in that moment.

The Tommy that sat before her was the tender, kind and loving Tommy she was used to. But the man he described to her was someone entirely different. She wasn't used to him being so angry and violent; a stark contrast to the man she had first met when he was injured in France. She had felt a strange pull towards him, one that she couldn't describe nor control, and she had often asked herself whether fate had something to do with them meeting all those years ago.

"What I do… is something I can't control," Tommy whispered, his voice hoarse from tiredness. "My brother drinks and fights other men to feel adequate, in control. I do what I do to control my emotions because if I don't, I will break, and I can't do that. My family deserves this man sitting in front of you. I take all their burdens and worries, and I live with them so that they don't have to."

"But…" Rose began, attempting to rationalize his reasons for dealing with his actions. "You don't have to shoulder their pain and carry it with yours. You don't have to do that."

"Then who will?" Tommy asked, his voice level and calm. "I've thought it over a thousand times and I come to that answer every single time. I don't want to be like this, but I have no choice. In order to keep my brothers alive and to stop them from doing crazy shit, I have to do it."

Rose quietened then. "Are they always innocent or is there a reason for your violence?"

"There always has to be a reason for something," Tommy explained. "You told me that."

"Don't." Rose warned, her voice stern, eyes narrowed at him. "Don't you dare make my words be the reason for your actions, or for the violence you cause to others. Don't make them be an excuse."

"It isn't an excuse, Rose," Tommy stated, sighing slightly as he acknowledged her warning tone.

"Answer me truthfully," Rose said. "Are they always innocent or is there a reason for your violence?"

"My job… it comes with perks," Tommy explained. "People bet on horses and I get paid. My family gets to eat because I'm able to put food on the table. The men that come to me with their hard-earned money, they're the monsters that take food away from the table that could feed their children for a week. That could clothe their children for months. But they would rather bet on horses that will never be good enough to win the race. So…"

"So, you're playing Devil's advocate?" Rose muttered. "Is that it?"

"Those men, Rose, lose their money," Tommy raised his voice slightly but took a deep breath. "Sometimes they win. Sometimes they lose. Big time. They win, and they piss it up the wall. They lose and come to me for a loan. I give them that loan that they have to pay back, and when they don't… the Shelby boy's come knocking."

"And then what?" Rose asked. "You beat them up in front of their wives? In front of their children?"

Tommy shook his head. "It's not like they don't know the price of dealing with us. It's a vicious circle. They work for me. I pay them their wage, thinking they'd do the decent thing and feed and clothe their family, but they spend it all on betting on horses and chasing that dream of a big win. You must understand, we don't force them into betting on the losers. And they know the cost of them losing their money."

"I can't believe this," Rose whispered, standing with a wince and hobbling towards the window that overlooked the garden cloaked in a dark blanket of night. She wasn't sure what time it was but in that moment, she didn't care how late it was. The alcohol was still in her system, and she knew she would regret the amount she had consumed when she woke. Rose placed her bottom upon the window frame, taking a pew a good distance away from Tommy, and she noticed that he had remained where he had been. His eyes burned into her soul and she felt goosebumps scatter across her skin like a wildfire taking hold.

"What I do doesn't stop me from being a good man, Rose," Tommy justified. "I just have different ways of doing things and that's fine. You still save people, even after all that loss over there."

"Stop," Rose seethed, sadness beginning to seep into her heart. She felt angry in that moment. How dare he bring up such a sore point when he knew how much it affected her? Even to this day, she still knew the names of the men she was unable to save. Their names burned in her mind like stars glistening in the night sky, a constant reminder. "How dare you? How _fucking_ dare you?!"

"It's true though. You still have hope. You still have that goodness in your heart when you saw the true horror over there," Tommy whispered, emotion clinging to his voice. "You saw the loss over there and I know you still feel it, but you still wake every morning and you go to work and you help people who have no idea what it's like over there. You're still a good person. You could've allowed your heart to be consumed with hate at the world, but you didn't. And I fell in love with you for that. I don't deserve you."

Rose looked away from him then, and his skin felt bare. The intensity of her gaze had always been something he was used to and enjoyed the feel of. But knowing she had looked away from him out of anger and sadness was almost too much to bear.

"I'm going to bed," Rose said, deadpan. "The spare room is still made up for you."

She made to move, and Tommy bowed his head. Her bare feet padded against the floorboards as she hobbled cautiously past him. She felt him reach out for her, the familiar electric bolt coursing through her body. She stopped as soon as she reached the door and bowed her head, closing her eyes for a moment. Their hands remained held together though Rose made no motion to move.

Tommy stood and pulled her to him, noticing the way her body moved towards him with ease. He wrapped his arms around her though her arms never moved from her sides. After a moment, she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his waist; her hands clasping tightly at his shirt.

"I loved you," Rose whispered, her sad voice muffled against the material.

"You can still love me," Tommy whispered, his voice equally as sad.

Rose began to sob into his chest and he held her close. There was nothing he could say now to make the situation better and they both knew that; it had been unraveled in front of them and they both had to deal with the new change in their relationship. Though it hadn't been what Rose was expecting to hear, she couldn't help but love the man that now held her close to his body, who held her to him as the sobs wracked through her.

She pulled away after a moment and shook her head. "If I asked you to stop, would you?"

Silence and hesitation filled the air around her, and it seemed to answer her question. Rose pulled away from him at that moment. Tommy reached for her, but she yanked her arm back.

"I'm too far gone, Rose," Tommy admitted shamefully. "I don't mean to… but it's a part of me. And I hate it. I despise it with all of my being."

"Am I not enough for you to stop the violence?" Rose asked, her voice and heart breaking.

"You are, but…"

Rose closed her eyes, defeated. "I get angry sometimes, Tommy, but I don't go out of my way to cause harm to people. Why? Why do you do it?"

"There's people out there who do bad things," Tommy clarified.

"Yes, and you're one of them," Rose whispered as she turned her back on him and opened the bathroom door. She hobbled down the corridor, wincing as she tried to quicken her pace. She felt Tommy move slowly behind her, keeping at a distance as he knew she wouldn't want him close to her.

A door handle could be heard opening further down the corridor, and Rose froze in the darkness. Tommy watched with a narrowed gaze as Hettie opened her bedroom door and inspected the young couple with a furrowed brow. She sighed after a moment before she tutted.

"Young love isn't always what it's cracked up to be," her voice filled the corridor. "But this… whatever is going on… has to stop."

"I'm sorry that we've woken you," Tommy began. "I was just leaving."

"Don't be silly," Hettie exclaimed. "You'll do no such thing."

"Let him go," Rose muttered in response. Her voice was tired, and all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and allow sleep to take her away for a short time.

"If I learned one thing from loving a man is that you should never go to bed after having an argument," Hettie stated. "I was married to my husband for many years and we fought like cat and dog for all those years, but I never once hated him. We never went to bed angry with each other because we didn't know what the next day would bring. So, I'm not letting the both of you throw away a good thing for God knows what."

"Hettie, please," Rose pleaded with the older woman, but they were left unheard as the woman made her down the stairs. When she didn't hear the couple follow her, she tutted and sighed.

"Am I going to have to drag the both of you down here by your ears because I bloody well will," Hettie scolded, and after a moment, both Rose and Tommy followed after her. Rose struggled with the stairs but shook her head at Tommy as he attempted to help her. Once they were all downstairs, Hettie led the way into the kitchen. She began to boil water and ushered for them both to take a seat at the table.

As they reluctantly sat down, they watched in silence as Hettie worked her way around the kitchen. She took note of the silence emitting from them both and rolled her eyes.

"It's strange," Hettie began. "Neither of you were this quiet upstairs. What's gone wrong in paradise?"

When silence was her only answer, she rolled her eyes once more. She busied herself with making the tea in the tea pot and placing the cups on the table. She allowed the tea to brew in the pot as she took a seat herself.

"Is no one going to tell me?" Hettie asked, noticing the way Rose glanced over towards Tommy. He felt her eyes burn his skin and turned to look at her. Rose quickly averted her gaze onto the woman. "Okay… I'm going to tell you what I think is going on because it's obvious from your silence that you care about each other more than you want to admit in this moment. So… we begin… I think the two of you love each other so much that sometimes it hurts. You're young and naïve, and you think you know everything about each other, when in fact, you know nothing about the other."

"I…" Rose began but was shushed by Hettie.

"You finally decide to speak up? It's my turn, sweetie," Hettie responded, and the young woman quietened. "Love is hard at the best of times. If love was so easy, everyone would be in love. Some people choose to live alone and they're happy. Some people can't live without love. And I must admit, when I lost my husband, I was lost. I married at eighteen and it was the best thing I ever did but looking back now, I'm wise enough to admit that I was too young. We both were. I loved him, don't get me wrong, but you don't know yourself at that age. I didn't love him when I first met him, but I grew to love him, and he was the best thing to ever happen to me."

Hettie fell silent then, noticing she had both of their attention upon her. She poured the tea carefully and handed them a cup each.

"But when I see the two of you, so young and in love, it breaks my heart to hear you argue like that. You found each other when there was nothing but loss around you both, and I can't imagine the pain you feel in your hearts," Hettie continued, her voice growing sadder. "But you deserve the love you both give each other. I've watched you both and you're both happier than a cat that got the cream. But let this be a lesson to you both, and when I'm gone, remember this… don't give up on each other because you'll regret it."

Rose allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. She moved her hands towards Tommy's that laid upon the table and squeezed it gently. Tommy glanced over at her and felt his heart break into a thousand pieces.

"I hurt people," Tommy spoke up. Hettie turned her attention to him with a questioning look. "I hurt people who do me or my family wrong."

"I know," Hettie began, her face softening. "I heard you through the wall. And I understand your reasons for doing it. But I also understand Rose's reaction. I have one question for you both. What brought the both of you together?"

Tommy glanced towards Rose who lifted her gaze to him. He answered for them. "The war."

"That's right," Hettie nodded. "Don't let the war you both have raging in your hearts destroy the very foundation of your love. Hating each other will destroy everything else, and you're just hurt. And that's okay."

"I was going to give you this," Tommy began, taking his hand away from Rose's and tugging at his pocket. "I wasn't sure when, but it was going to be soon. But, before you give me an answer, I just want you to know that I have loved you for as long as I've known you and I never will stop loving you. And I understand if you never want to see me again, I do… but just know that you are the reason why I'm able to go to sleep every night without the fear of the nightmares that drown me often because I know I'm always going to wake up next to you."

Tommy laid a small simple velvet box upon the table.

"I know I do things you don't understand but my love for you has never changed. And I will change. I just need time to heal properly, and I'll find other ways to do that, I promise," Tommy whispered. "My promise to you. Always and forever."

Rose's eyes never wavered from him as he spoke from the heart. She didn't need to see what was in the box for her answer was known as soon as his words filled her ears. She knew he wasn't a monster and dealt with things in the only way he knew how. Rose felt Hettie's attention move towards her and she felt her skin prickle with anxiety as she took a deep breath.

"Yes," Rose whispered tearfully. "I don't understand but I love you nonetheless…"

Tommy closed his eyes then, counting his blessings, and closed the gap between them. He wrapped his strong arms around her and felt her melt into him; all the confusion and anger escaping from her and being replaced with love and admiration for the man that had claimed her heart all those years ago. She didn't understand but she didn't have to; just as he didn't understand her need to save people after the bloodshed she had seen over in France. Though a Shelby life was never simple, they didn't need to understand anything else for he was hers and she was his.


	9. Part One: Chapter Eight

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..  
 _  
_ _'_ _I couldn't tell you enough that I'm sorry,  
And no, you couldn't tell me enough that you loved me,  
She's bringing the moon and the stars to me,  
Damn permanent reverie,  
And even though this life, this love, is brief,  
I've got some people who carry me'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER EIGHT

"I never told you," Rose's voice filled the darkness of the room a short time later. It was a few hours until morning when they ascended to their bedrooms. Hettie had ordered them to bed shortly after their talk, knowing that they needed to talk with each other without having her there. Even though she was the voice of reason, they needed time away to talk as a couple and work through their issues. Rose had found comfort on the bed while Tommy sought comfort in the armchair; knowing that they needed distance in order to talk properly.

He watched by candlelight as she fought an internal battle, the flame barely flickered despite the cool air. It was steady and bright enough to relieve the darkness of the night, and cast thick shadows upon the wall.

"I try to not speak about it often," Rose continued. "But I know that it's something that is a part of me and will be for as long as I live. And my reactions to your words were honest and real. My father was not a good man, and he hurt a lot of people. He stole from good people, Tommy, and he killed a lot more good people because he wanted what he could never have. So, I've been there, and I've dealt with men like that before."

"I'm sorry," Tommy whispered, and he was: for everything, for the trouble he caused her and would cause her, just by her loving him. He was going to change, and he knew he had to so that he would be able to keep the best thing that happened to him. She was the light in the darkness of his heart, and she showed him that life was truly worth living.

"And so, it was my mother and I for a long time. Two peas in a pod," she continued, dismissing his apology. "She promised me she would never go back to him, that she would never bring him back to our home, so he could let us down again. And we were happy for a while. But they say that love is strong and toxic sometimes, and it was for them."

Rose fell silent then, struggling with the emotions she felt within her heart. Neglect, sadness, grief. They were a part of her and would be for as long as she lived, but she knew it would never ease no matter how many years passed her by nor how stronger she became. Her mother had been her only constant and she was gone; and her father was someone who couldn't be relied on.

"My mother took me to my aunts for the weekend," Rose spoke honestly and sincerely. "She gave me one last hug and kiss, and told me she would see me bright and early on Monday morning. And I believed her. But she was gone. My father's lies were too believable, and she believed every word that came out of his mouth. He drank heavily and would beat her, that's why we left in the first place. And I had told her he wouldn't change, and she knew that. But she loved him more than anything in this world and she died because of it."

Tommy bowed his head, and wrung his hands together. He wanted to close the gap between them both, take her in his arms and hold her until the sun came up. But he knew she needed to talk, and he understood that her opening up to him meant something.

"He promised her the world and she trusted him," Rose whispered, her voice breaking. "He promised to never drink again but the demons were too loud for him, and when my mother confronted him about it, he beat her senseless. He took her life because she realised the grass wasn't greener. I lost my mother because she hoped for a better life, and because she loved a man who wasn't a good man."

"I'm not him, Rose…" Tommy spoke then. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

"I know you wouldn't," she whispered. "But the fear is always there. If it could happen to my mother, it could happen to me."

"No," Tommy felt his heart break into a million pieces at the smallness of her voice, the fear that overwhelmed her in unspoken moments. He stood and closed the gap between them. "I will always love and protect you, Rose. Nothing and no-one is going to hurt you."

Tommy's promises were heard and though she wanted to believe them, Rose couldn't stop the fear from clouding her heart once more.

..

Tommy and his family remained in London for the next couple of days. While his family was busy gallivanting around the city, he and Rose took some time to speak honestly about the doubts and fears they both had; and they knew their issues wouldn't be sorted through on that one evening. Tommy allowed himself to open up and tell Rose everything about him that she hadn't known yet, and Rose listened to every word he said, every tear he shed, and reassured him with a supportive smile when his voice would waver.

He was strong man, but when it came to Rose, he knew he was able to become vulnerable and show his battle wounds to the world. She allowed him to be himself, and to feel the pain he often buried deep down in himself. He never allowed himself to cry over his worries, or his past, but Rose would comfort him nonetheless. She loved him, and if she didn't she wouldn't still be sat in the room with him. And he knew that.

Tommy had something to fight for now. He had someone who relied on him and who loved him more than he could ever love anyone else; and though it was a bitter pill to swallow, he realised that he was worthy of love.

And Rose was the woman who loved him, and for that, he was fortunate to have a constant who was prepared to stand beside him for the rest of his life.

In those remaining days in London before his return to Small Heath, they spoke about their wedding in short, excited bursts of conversation. They knew they wanted to enjoy their engagement for a while, and to tell their loved ones together in their own time, but when the excitement reached its limit in their hearts, the urge to marry straight away was high.

But they knew they needed to wait. Good things came to those who wait. And so, the plan was for them to take his family out for lunch that day, and to tell his family of their engagement. Rose was nervous, but Tommy was quick to reassure her.

They spent time with Hettie, who was their voice of reason, the woman who had seen it and done it all and who lived to tell of her adventures. They took her out for dinner in celebration for many reasons: their engagement, her help and support over the last few months, for helping Rose when she needed someone. They would forever be grateful of Hettie for talking to them that evening, for being the voice of reason and for making them see that their love was stronger than that little hiccup they faced. And they knew they would face a lot in their journey together, but they would face them together no matter what.

As they dressed for their dinner with the Shelby's, a little tap on the door sounded. Tommy was the closest and reached for the door, opening it to reveal Hettie who stood their holding a decorative box with a ribbon wrapped around it. Her face and eyes lit up at the sight of Rose, who seemed to radiate elegance and love.

"You look lovely," Hettie whispered, a lump forming in her throat.

"Thank you," Rose replied, smiling at the older woman. "It isn't too much?"

"Not at all," Hettie smiled, taking in the soft blushed pink dress that adorned the young woman's body. "I have something for you."

She stepped closer to Rose and handed the box to her. Rose took the gift and with careful fingers, untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. She gasped as her eyes stared at the delicateness of the necklace that laid inside the box.

"Hettie… you shouldn't have," Rose whispered, tenderly touching the three small diamonds that adorned the necklace. "It's beautiful!"

"Well, I'm not going to be around that much longer to wear it," Hettie replied with a laugh. "My mother gave me this necklace on the morning of my wedding, and my grandmother gave my mother it on the morning of her wedding. I never had a daughter to give this too, but I consider you my daughter. And I want you to feel beautiful on your wedding, just like I did many moons ago."

Tears fell from Rose's eyes as she closed the gap between them. She wrapped her arms around the frail woman who held her tightly.

"Thank you," Rose whispered close to her, and Hettie nodded against her.

"Now, no more tears, darling," Hettie smiled, pulling away from the hug. Hettie had listened to Rose when she opened up about her family; how her mother's death affected her and had made her strive to becoming a nurse. She wanted to help as much as possible, and in ways that seemed impossible. The sheer determination of the young woman was enough to inspire Hettie to change her life, and it was wonderful watching the young shy woman transition into a woman full of confidence.

Though she didn't have her mother by her side nor would she have her there on her wedding day, she had Hettie and that meant so much to her.

Hettie left them to it, and as soon as she was gone and could be heard pottering around in the kitchen below them, Tommy held Rose as she sobbed softly.

..

The news of their engagement was an unexpected surprise to the Shelby family who all squealed and hollered in excitement. Ada and Polly held Rose tightly as they excitedly stared at the ring that Tommy had gotten made for her; an Old Mine diamond set in a prong crown head and embellished with diamonds. They gasped at the beautiful elegance of the ring and couldn't believe that Tommy had chosen the perfect ring.

They had all eaten their dinner without spying the ring upon Rose's finger. Tommy had been watching his entire family as they absentmindedly conversed with one another. He was even surprised with Aunt Pol who had been oblivious to the ring.

Arthur and John congratulated Tommy with a slap on the back and a hug each. They all obliged and found themselves making their way to the bar in the restaurant. As they all sat around the table with the men at the bar, Rose couldn't help but feel inexplicably happy. She stared at Tommy's form at the bar; the collected and suave man who had chosen her had been someone she had always been searching for but never quite believed she was worthy of having as her own. She had spent the majority of her life wanting to be loved by someone, but she couldn't help the fear and apprehension that came with love. Her parents had a toxic relationship, and even though they couldn't live with each other, their love for one another never wavered. They loved too much and that had been their downfall. Rose had wanted to love and be loved, and she never realised in a million years that she would fall in love with a man like Tommy.

The war hadn't been kind to anyone, but she felt lucky that she was able to meet Tommy. As Tommy recovered, he gave her hope that life was still good as long as you looked for the good in the world. It had been hard to comprehend but he had given her the hope in her heart to continue each day and assist with the injuries that surrounded her and the other nurses dedicating their lives to support and save soldiers. It was a cruel affair but in those last remaining months, Tommy's words had made it all worthwhile.

Their love was special and unexpected. And that's what made it meaningful.

Their love for each other would never end. They had already been through the worst of times, and they would stand beside each other when things became tough and the future looked bleak.

Tommy turned to look over at her then and she smiled at him. His eyes lit up and a wide smile etched across his face.

He was worth fighting for.

..

"So… we're all here this evening to celebrate my brother Tommy's engagement to the wonderful Rose," Arthur hollered, catching the attention of the entire bar and the chatter ceased. Rose squeezed Tommy's hand affectionately as her cheeks blushed at the attention of strangers. "They met over in France during the war. Tommy was injured after saving my life after a bomb was lobbed over at our trench. He was taken to the medical tent where Rose came straight towards us like angel in the night. She helped my brother when I couldn't, and I cannot thank her enough for that. To know they met because of an unfortunate incident is something that I will hold dear to my heart."

Tommy stood to thank his brother, but Arthur shook his head, and Tommy sat back down with a smirk.

"Now, I love a good speech, and I just want to say that I'm so happy for you, Tommy. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I'm lucky to be able to witness you find your love," Arthur continued, raising his glass. "And to Rose… thank you for saving my brother, and for loving him because you have made him so happy. When the world was dark, you were the light to guide him home. Welcome to the family."

Cheers ensued around them from family and strangers and as Arthur took a seat, there was a moment of silence that surrounded them. Their minds were transported back into the past; though the war was over, their memories were just as vivid as if they were stood in the middle of the battlefield with bullets echoing around them. Tommy had found his beacon of hope and as he squeezed Rose's hand, he knew that he was lucky. Not everyone returned to their families the way he and his brother's hand, and those who did didn't return the same.

He turned to Rose in that moment, and felt his heart ease its erratic beating. He had never been happier in all his life, and he knew nothing, and no one could ever stop them. Kimber's threats had been heard, but he knew Kimber didn't have the backbone to pull anything off. As long as Rose was by his side, he was richer than all.

..

Evening was descending over London, and as Hettie lit candles around the house, she found comfort in her armchair. She pondered how her evening would be spent until Tommy and Rose returned home that evening. As soon as she had waved them off, she went to retrieve the box from underneath her bed knowing that it was time to go down memory lane for a while.

The photo albums were something she would always cherish. They were a part of her history, the documentation of her life in photographs, and of the adventures she had been on. As she thumbed through each page, thick with photographs and memories, she felt her heart surge at the next adventure in Rose and Tommy's life. She had been an excited bride once, and it had been the best time of her life as she looked back on them now.

She had been nervous, there was no denying that, but she had loved him even though she hadn't shown it to him for a long time. She saw herself in Rose so much that it was startling for the young woman to be stood in front of her sometimes. The naivety, the innocence, the burning love that radiated from her. It was as though she was looking at herself at the beginning of her life, and it was lovely to see the hope in Rose's eyes.

Hettie had had a wonderful life. She had found someone who had loved her, and who she had grown to love more than anything in her life. She saw the world with her husband, Percy, and though children never came their way, they were fine with it as long as they had each other. And so, they created the best life for them both. Percy was a doctor and Hettie was a seamstress for the wealthy, and they enjoyed their life together.

When she lost her husband, it was as if the world had grown quiet and darker. The silence in the house was deafening especially without his loud chuckle, or him calling out for her, or the sound of his dress shoes upon the stairs. She would often think she would hear him coming down the stairs, and she would feel her heart swell and the hair on her body standing on end, and she would rush into the hallway as fast as she could, and would find herself breaking as no one came to meet her.

She still spoke with him, as if she was picking up where the conversation had stopped. And she would find herself hearing him reply to her as if he was there in the room with her, even though she knew he wasn't. It was tough being in love with someone who was gone, and had been gone for nearly a decade. Her love for Percy was very much still tangible and she knew it would never leave her, which she was grateful for. To love someone in death was the hardest thing, she surmised, as she tenderly grazed her finger across the black and white photograph of him.

A knock sounded at the door and she moved her attention away from the photo albums. She closed them and placed them back into the box. She stood up carefully, feeling her bones protest against her, and she shuffled towards the front door.

She glanced at her watch and furrowed her brow. Surely Tommy and Rose couldn't be back so soon? She expected the celebrations to go on until much later, and she knew the both of them had a key just in case the door was locked upon their return. She brushed her hands upon her dress, ironing out the creases with her warm hands, and checked her hair in the mirror.

As she opened the door, a short man with slicked back hair and a thin moustache came into view.


	10. Part One: Chapter Nine

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..  
 _  
_ _'_ _Know that feeling when you think your heart is gonna come right out through your shirt?  
I get it a couple times a year but I've been getting it more often with her,  
When I'm face to face with death I'll grab his throat,  
And ask him, how does it hurt?'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER NINE

Tommy Shelby watched with pride as his soon to be bride danced the night away with his sister Ada. The orchestra in the restaurant had lifted their spirits to an almighty high, with the news of their engagement causing everyone to smile, laugh and forget about their troubles. The restaurant was thriving with all walks of life, the music bouncing off the walls, the floor vibrating beneath his feet, and sound of laughter filling his ears. It was a stark contrast to what he was used to; his world had been filled with silence for so much of his life and though he found comfort in that most of the time, he had gotten used to his world being filled with sound and light.

But Rose had been something he had hoped for, and he didn't even know how much he needed her until she was right in front of him. They had faced trials and tribulations since coming back from war, but they had each other throughout it all. And the future was not going to be smooth sailing for either of them, and whilst they knew that underneath it all, it was still something they were to discuss away from everyone. Tommy loved her, and she loved Tommy with every inch of her being.

Their eyes met across the dancefloor and she moved towards him with a soft smile upon her face. He was sat at the table alone, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigarette resting between his lips. As she neared him, she dipped her head towards him shyly, her gaze moving away for just a moment. Tommy removed the cigarette from his mouth and laid it in the cigarette holder.

"I love you, Thomas Shelby," she whispered against his lips. "I can't wait to marry you."

"Always and forever, my love," Tommy whispered pulling her closer to him and shifting her onto his lap. Their mouths explored each other for a few moments before they both had to come up for air; the tantalizing taste of one another dancing on their tongues. Rose stroked his face as her eyes danced around his face; taking in his sharp cheekbones and jaw, his mesmerizing blue eyes and his lips that she couldn't get enough of.

"I'm trying to understand," Rose whispered, solemnly. "And I love you enough that I will understand why you do what you do, but it will take me some time."

Tommy nodded, and her head towards him with his hand. His lips grazed hers and she moved to deepen the kiss. After a moment, she broke away again, but this time was harder to resist his kiss.

"Let's not wait," Rose suggested, her voice trailing off excitedly. "Let's get married as soon as we can. I love you too much to wait another day to be yours forever."

"You'd really do that?" he asked to which she nodded.

"I love you," she whispered. "That should be enough reason to bring it forward. We don't have plans set in stone yet, so why not?"

A smile etched across Tommy's face as he pulled her closer to him. She allowed herself to close the gap between them, her arms wrapping around his neck as their lips met once more. He could taste the sweetness of champagne in her mouth as her tongue danced with his. He held her tightly against him, feeling her heart race against his chest at his touch.

"Let's go home," Rose whispered once their kiss came to an end. "I need you."

Tommy placed a gentle kiss upon his lips before standing to his full height. He held her hand as he led her across the dancefloor and to the coat room. Arthur's eyes fell immediately upon them and a loud cheer erupted from his as he realised where they were heading. Tommy shook his head with an amused smirk upon his face at Arthur's excited outburst which was drawing the attention of his whole family; which only caused Rose's cheeks to turn a vibrant shade of red. Aunt Pol and Ada laughed and waved as they retrieved their coats.

The streets of London were a quiet affair as they ventured further into the darkened streets only lit up by a dim street light It offered little light but enough for them to see a short way in front of them before they were engulfed in darkness until they reached the next stretch of light offered by the carbon arc lamps.

Tommy and Rose chattered through the streets leading towards Rose's home. Laughter filled the narrow streets as they shared memories and experiences that neither of them had ever shared before. Happiness radiated from them both, and Tommy felt happier than he had ever felt in that moment with the woman he loved by his side.

"I don't want this night to end," Rose whispered as he pulled her to him. The warmth that radiated from his body was enticing as a small chill exuded from her own. The dress she wore clung to every curve of her body and breathed in the cool air that the night had to offer as a small shiver emitted from her despite the coat that adorned her body. Tommy felt it and brought her closer to him, as he laid a gentle kiss upon the top of her head.

"Then we don't let tonight end," Tommy countered with a smirk. "Until morning inevitably breaks us away from it."

They walked slower even though morning beckoned for its safe return, to break the night away from the darkness and engulfing them in the warm hue of the golden sunrise. They spoke about the arrival of their wedding day just a few weeks away, the future they would share together, the adventures they would go on, and the children they would bring into the world which had been approached with quiet excitement and wide eyes. Becoming a parent had always been a dream of Tommy's despite his upbringing and tough childhood, but he had seen Aunt Pol go above and beyond for all the Shelby boys when their father abandoned them that fateful eve after the death of their mother. Aunt Pol had been his backbone when he was forced to stand alone in this world, the guiding light in his sibling's life.

And before they knew it, they were stood at the bottom of the steps leading to the house. The house that harbored a lot of firsts for the both of them which flashed and danced in their drunken minds. Tommy pulled away from her, moving his warm body away and causing the cold to seep into the thin material of her dress and reaching for her hand before he guided them up the steps, but Rose stopped at that moment. Tommy turned to her, his height differed from the step he stood upon, and she smiled up at him.

"I'm so happy you came into my life," Rose said honestly, her drunken state sobering for just a moment. "I can't imagine life without you, Tommy."

He stepped down from the step and closed the gap between them. "Maybe it should be counting myself lucky that you are still in front of me, and that you don't look at me differently."

Rose moved her head closer to Tommy's. She leant in, lifting herself to her tiptoes as she pulled his hard body towards her. She felt his chest against her own, as he rested his forehead against hers. Tommy could feel the intake of breath that Rose took against his chest and he felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Thank you," her voice was barely a whisper.

"For what?" he asked, his own voice low and husky.

"For being you, and only you," she whispered. He brought his hands to her face and kissed her, the world falling away. It was soft and slow, reminiscent to their first kiss, and comforting in ways that neither needed to explain. His hand rested just below her ear, and this thumb caressed her cheek as their breath intertwined.

They broke away moments later, the excitement and burning desire glowing brightly in the pits of their stomachs, as they climbed the steps.

The house was quiet upon their return, and as they ascended the steps towards the door, Tommy began to feel unsettled. He couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness as he watched Rose put the key in the lock only to find the door was unlocked. She turned to Tommy with a furrowed brow and worry coursing through her veins.

"She always locks this door behind me," Rose whispered, her voice shaking. "She never leaves it unlocked… never…"

Tommy nodded and moved in front of her, keeping a hold of her hand as it shook in his. "Stay behind me, Rose."

"Tommy…"

"It's going to be okay, I promise," Tommy whispered, turning to her. "I need you to stay behind me at all times."

He felt Rose move her hands to the back of his jacket as he led the way into the house. It was dark which even for him was unusual as Hettie always ensured there was light within the house always. The feeling of uneasiness never wavered from him as he slid into the hallway without a sound. As soon as he reached a certain point, that was when he could smell it: the overwhelming tang of blood that hung heavily in the air.

He turned to her then. "I need you to stay here, okay? Let me do this."

"Tommy, no!"

Tommy closed the gap between them, reaching his hands up to her face where he kissed her fiercely. He knew whatever he witnessed in the house would forever change his and Rose's world. He rested his forehead against hers as he stared into her eyes; allowing his thumbs to brush against her cheeks.

"Stay here," he whispered, a hint of a warning in his voice. She nodded slowly and tearfully.

"Be careful, Tommy," Rose warned him quietly. He gave her a short nod before he moved away from her and traipsed carefully into the house.

He pulled open the door to the living quarters and the once overwhelming scent of blood became even more so. He closed the door for a moment before he opened them once more, the dull flames of the candles billowing in the breeze of the open door, casting dancing shadows across the wall.

Blood soaked into the soft furnishings, the exquisitely patterned wallpaper that adorned the walls was splattered with the crimson liquid in thick beads, and the rug that had softened her fall soaked most of the blood she had lost. Her body was slumped against the chaise lounge, her head resting against the soft cushion and for a moment, Tommy would assume she was sleeping. But he knew that was not the case, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to compose himself.

As he reopened them, he observed the cuts to her hands that were reminiscent to defense wounds and he knew that Hettie would've protected herself at all costs. He moved towards her and gently brushed his knuckles against her cheek to try and feel any warmth, but when only cold met his skin, he ran a hand through his short hair and released a sigh.

His eyes lifted towards the crisp white piece of paper that was placed upon the blood splattered coffee table; a foreign object in a room that had shed so much blood. He reached for it then and took in the familiar scrawl of Kimber inked into the paper.

 _THE OLD BAT GOT IN THE WAY. NEXT TIME IT'S ROSE…_

Tommy felt anger course through his veins as he tried to analyze the events that had led up to this catastrophic incident.

A guttural scream erupted a small distance away from him and he raised his gaze and watched in horror as Rose stood in the doorway having ventured inside. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth was ajar yet no sound emitted from her anymore. He stood to his full height and closed the gap between them; his hands resting upon the tops of her arms.

"No… you can't see this," Tommy found his voice hoarse.

"Is she…" Rose trailed off, but Tommy knew her question. He shook his head in response and felt her weaken in his grasp.

"You can't see this, Rose," Tommy warned. "I can't let you see her like this."

"I can help…" Rose muttered quietly. "I can try and bring her back…"

"No," Tommy said hoarsely. "It's too late. She's gone."

"I can do something, Tommy…"

He reached for her face then and made her look him in the eye. Her eyes were filled with tears and soft sobs escaped from her. She trembled beneath his hold and he knew he was the only reason she was still standing for if he let her go, she would collapse to the floor in a heap.

"She's gone, Rose. There's nothing we can do to bring her back," Tommy whispered honestly.

He gently pushed her out of the room and she let him take her away from the horrific scene and led her to the stairs where she took a seat. She held onto the bannister for a moment, her eyes closed and body trembling with shock.

"That wasn't a natural death," she whispered. "Someone did that to her, Tommy. Someone killed her, didn't they?"

Tommy nodded faintly, gently running a hand through her hair. "I'm going to find out who did this to her, okay?"

Rose looked up at him with tearful eyes and nodded. No more words were spoken for there was none to say. Hettie had been cruelly murdered for protecting her home and the whereabouts of Tommy and Rose. Her ultimate sacrifice was felt by all in those few quiet moments in the aftermath of them finding her lifeless body. And though Hettie had died not in the way she had hoped for, her memory would forever live on for the bravery and selflessness that prevailed in such a tragedy.

Arthur and John had arrived a short time later, with the former remaining by the side of Tommy as he dealt with the formalities, and the latter took Rose away from the scene under strict instructions to keep any eye on her. Aunt Pol would take control when it came to Rose and protect her with the help of John's presence just in case Kimber came back and tried to claim Rose for his own.

His threat was heard loud and clear, and there was one thing for certain when it came to Tommy Shelby.

An eye for an eye. A life for a life.

Kimber's time was running out and Tommy was hot on his heels.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Huge apologies for the long delay from the last chapter to this next instalment, life just seemed to get in the way and a little bit of writers block didn't help either! Hope you enjoy this chapter, it was incredibly hard to write as I wanted to make it perfect and it took me a long time to actually get it the way I wanted. I hope you enjoy this chapter despite the heaviness of it, and I promise the next two chapters will be up soon._

 _Reviews are always welcome and incredibly appreciated. Thank you for reading!_


	11. Part One: Chapter Ten

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..  
 _  
_ _'_ _In those golden moments growing old too quickly,  
Was he thinking of her?'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

 _.._

CHAPTER TEN

Tommy Shelby was not exactly sure what to expect when the door opened to the Kimber residence. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be met by Kimber, coming face to face after the two weeks since Hettie's body was discovered bludgeoned to death. Could he tolerate the smarmy expressions of Kimber once he realised why and how Tommy came to be on his doorstep? He wanted nothing more than to scare Kimber, to warn him off, but most of all, he wanted to hurt Kimber in more ways than he knew was physically possible.

Hettie's death had been unexpected and had turned their lives upside down. The pain and anguish felt by many were untouchable to the amount of guilt he felt. He tormented himself every single woken moment over the evident threat he had received from Kimber, and of which he did nothing about. He protected Rose with her being his priority next to his family; but Hettie had been an innocent bystander and had paid the full price for her loyalty towards both him and Rose. He knew he needed to warn Kimber away; but he knew it came to two warnings: a heavily worded threat that would be deemed as insignificant to Kimber; or one of violence that caused Kimber much pain and suffering for the rest of his life. Or, there was another warning that had spoken volumes for Kimber in his own actions.

Kimber's one weakness was Tommy's own, and that was his wife. Tommy knew he held the power when it came to vengeance, and whatever Kimber had done and would do to Tommy was nothing compared to what Tommy had in store for Kimber.

With the Peaky Blinders waiting around the corner from the house, he had waited on the step for a moment or two before the heavy door opened revealing a brunette woman dressed in black. Her dowdy hair was pinned back from her face in a tight updo; her face pale and drawn, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"We do not want to buy anything, apologies," her voice was strained as she avoided his gaze.

"You mistake me for a street seller, Mrs. Kimber," Tommy forced a false smile to etch across his face. "I work with your husband, William. I'm Thomas, I'm sure he's spoken about our business together. Is he about?"

"Oh, I do apologize," she said, a faint blush burning her cheeks, keeping her gaze low. "He is on a business trip, though she should return in an hour or two though."

"Is it possible to wait here for him?" Tommy asked, noticing the shift in her body language. "It's just, I've been travelling all day and I must've gotten my time's wrong for his return."

"Mr. Kimber didn't make me aware of any meetings of his upon his return today," Mrs. Kimber countered, and Tommy faltered then though it wasn't picked up by Kimber's wife. His entrance into the house seemed to be more difficult than he imagined.

"Well, he's a busy man and I would not accuse him of not remembering our meeting but this is incredibly important and as I've stated before, I've been travelling all day to meet with him, and I can assure you that I cannot miss my train this evening as I have other business to attend to," Tommy stated, watching her intently.

Mrs. Kimber opened the door for Tommy thus allowing him entry into her house. With one last glance at the boys waiting outside, he closed the door behind him.

The Kimber residence was of grand and exquisite taste despite the dirty business Kimber was dealing with; a stark contrast of what Tommy was expecting. A house that had three levels and a dozen rooms that surrounded him, with portraits and paintings adorning the walls at every corner he turned to. Mrs. Kimber led him into the living quarters where she offered him a seat, and he took it without hesitation, his eyes scanning the room as she departed from it.

He took the opportunity to observe the photographs of both Kimber and his wife on their wedding day and at various events. When Mrs. Kimber returned a short time later with a tea tray in hand, she placed it in front of Tommy on the coffee table.

"So, you're in business with Billy, is that right?" she asked.

"Yes," Tommy nodded.

"You know, I've never heard him ever mention you before," she pondered for a moment before shaking her head.

"Ah, that's because we're fairly new business partners as of a few weeks when he gave me a deal breaker that turned my life around."

"He's a wonderful husband so I can only imagine what a great businessman he is," Mrs. Kimber smiled to which Tommy found himself smirking at her answer.

"He really does go above and beyond for what he truly thinks is best," Tommy replied, taking his tea and lifting it to his mouth. "Even when he's wrong, he still doesn't give up. His perseverance at getting the job done more than anything is staggering, really."

They spoke for a while about Kimber, and how they met and fell in love. She had been by Kimber's side for a long time that it seemed almost unusual to not have him by her side when he was away working. She opened up to Tommy like an open book, a little attention at certain things she said and allowed him to gain more information about Kimber that he never imagined he would ever receive. His one weakness had told him everything he wanted to know and more, and she had been willingly giving him it all.

The hour seemed to pass quickly, and it wasn't before long that he heard heavy footing ascend the steps towards the door opened and closed, heavy footing following on from the loud slam of the door. The glass rattled for a moment before the footing grew louder as it neared them. Tommy remained seated, a cup of tea in his hands as he made himself comfortable.

"Harriet, pour me a rum," Kimber's voice trailed off in the hallway. "Make it a double."

Kimber's form came into view just as Harriet stood from her seat, her husband's request being her main priority. As she moved away from her seat, she blocked the view of Tommy from Kimber, and with a smile on her face, she greeted her husband.

"You never told me you started business with such a like-minded man," Mrs. Kimber commented. "I know you do not like it when I'm involved with your business, Billy, but I think he's great!"

Mrs. Kimber moved towards the small bar in the corner of the room then, allowing Kimber to greet his guest, and watched Kimber's face fall as soon as his eyes met with Tommy, just as a smirk etched across his own.

"Ah, William! It's good to see you, old friend. Your wife has been telling me stories about you!" Tommy exclaimed excitedly, taking a sip of his tea with a slurp. "Bit early in the day for a double rum, isn't it?"

"What are you doing here?" Kimber's voice was stern, but Tommy knew that was a façade. He saw the way his eyes shifted from his wife then to Tommy.

"You have a meeting with him, darling," Harriet informed him. "You've been so busy lately, many late nights… no wonder you've probably forgotten about it. You really should cut down your workload, Billy."

"Yes… the meeting," Kimber muttered, playing along. He watched as Tommy stood and moved towards the photographs that adorned the top of the fireplace.

"Beautiful photographs," Tommy acknowledged, and as Harriet was busily pouring Kimber a drink, he allowed his hand to move towards the back of it before he swiped it off the fireplace with such force that it smashed to pieces as it collided with the floor. "Ah… I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed, as a gasp escaped Harriet at the sudden clash. "I'm incredibly clumsy today."

Harriet rushed over towards him. "Oh… it's not your fault. It's not a bother," she whispered, her voice low and saddened. As she knelt in front of Tommy collecting the shattered pieces of glass, Tommy and Kimber's eyes were locked on each other. The worried smile fell from Tommy's face then and was replaced by an expression of pure anger. He pulled his suit jacket open slightly enough for Kimber to see the gun in the holster.

Kimber could only watch as Tommy pulled it silently out of its holster and point the weapon at his wife's head, oblivious to the events occurring around her.

"It's incredible how quickly things can change, isn't it, Harriet? How things can be break into a million pieces with no hope of ever being fixed again," Tommy commented. "How one thing can be great one minute then completely ruined the next."

"It is," Harriet whispered. "But sometimes something that has been broken can be fixed. It just needs time."

Harriet stood then and moved away from Tommy, still unaware of the gun being aimed at her head. As she disappeared from view, he turned the gun on Kimber.

"You made a mistake, Kimber. You will pay, do you understand?" Tommy asked and after a moment, Kimber nodded. "I could've shot your wife in the head and you didn't do anything to try and stop me. That makes you pathetic."

Kimber remained silent as Tommy moved closer.

"You're going to leave my family alone," Tommy warned. "And you're going to leave Rose alone, and if you don't, then Harriet will be killed in the same way as Hettie. Got that?"

Kimber gave him a nod. Tommy placed his gun back into its holster.

"You've messed with the wrong man, Kimber. This is the end of our business together," Tommy seethed. "I could've been your friend. But next time, if you do anything, you'll meet the fucking devil."

And with that, Tommy was gone. He descended the steps of the house, and with the Peaky Blinder boys that came out of hiding, followed him down the street.

..

Tommy Shelby never imagined in his entire life that he would be the first Shelby to marry in a church.

As soon as he had entered the church, he wondered whether he would set on fire or spontaneously combust due to all the things he had done and was still capable of doing. It had been a thought he would always get as he lay in bed at night just moments away from sleep ever since he put a ring on her finger. She was a righteous woman who had a life that had been a far cry from his own, but she had loved him just the same as he had loved her. His life had been so different to hers, and he could do unspeakable things to another man, and yet she still loved him no matter what. She still kissed him just the same, made love to him just the same, and though that had been everything to him, he wondered if that would let him down when they stood at the top of the alter to truly commit to the other.

Tommy was not a man of God, though he still believed. He still sought comfort from a higher being when times became too much, and he couldn't see a way out of the torture and pain he was enduring. And in his moment of weakness, when the war had destroyed every inch of his mind to which he wondered whether it should've taken him away from his physical body like it had so many other innocent men, he would find himself sat in the pews, his hands clasped together tightly as his mind spoke to the one person who seemed to soothe him.

He would think of the men who would never return to their families, and he knew that he had to make the most of the second chance he had been given. Whoever had been looking after him up there – which he had hoped to be his mother – was clearing his pathway for him.

When the news of his engagement circulated throughout Small Heath, he knew it wasn't the ideal situation to be in, but he was a Shelby. And Shelby's did things their own way. It had been something he wanted to do for some time, but never truly believed it would ever become tangible. And then he had seen how her face beamed happily as the ring, though small and dainty, was placed on her finger and he knew in that moment that his decision had and always would be the right one.

Her face never expressed happiness since the brutal murder of Hettie. And in the aftermath of her death, it was hard for her to comprehend a future where Hettie would not be a part of. Hettie's death had come as a shock, and the memory of her being found in such a way haunted Rose's dreams most nights. It was hard for Rose to be in the house since finding her that fateful night, but Tommy had protected her from it at all costs.

And though Kimber's threat had not reached Rose, Tommy had come prepared. He knew his meeting with Kimber would bring Kimber's men out of the woodwork, but his threat had been loud and clear just like Kimber's. And Kimber's threat spoke volumes to him and still hung heavy in the air. Though the weeks passed with no retaliation coming from Kimber's side, he still acted and behaved as though his threat was promised.

The brutality of Hettie's death had been something that was never spoken about, but it burned their minds more than they would ever admit to each other. Kimber had proven his violence to Tommy, and Tommy couldn't shake the rawness of the situation nor the thought of Rose having been there alone. If Rose had been there that fateful night and Tommy had not been by her side for whatever reason, he didn't even want to think about the outcome. Kimber's threat had been heard during their first meeting, and Tommy had known that Kimber would find any holes in their agreement to cause harm to Tommy. He had won him millions of pounds but had refused him one thing: Rose.

Kimber had Harriet at home but it seemed she was not enough.

The woman who had stood by him, and had turned a blind eye at the blood that would stain his hands. The woman who would hold him the night when his body would wrack with tears as the dreams became too unbearable for him to cope with alone. And she was the one to would whisper to him and calm him with her voice as he would cling onto her as he tried to hold onto reality.

He knew he was a changed man, and was not the Tommy everyone had known him to be. And though the scars were invisible, they still marked him nonetheless.

And Kimber's threat had been heard, and Tommy knew he needed to bide his time. The wedding would go ahead, and they would honor Hettie on the day. The weeks that had passed them by were quiet, and peaceful almost. There hadn't been any sign of Kimber despite Tommy's men being on the hunt for the man who had destroyed the life of the only woman he truly loved. And it seemed as though his warning had been heard.

Rose had lost everything for loving Tommy. And there had been times when he had wanted to let her go, deeming the road ahead too unstable for her to continue with him. But she had proven her love for him in more ways than he could ever imagine, and he had promised her that Kimber would not get away with what he did. She didn't know what Tommy had done for her, and he had wanted to keep it from her as much as he could.

But when everything was going right in life, it seemed as though nothing was ever simple for a Shelby.

Aunt Pol entered the church then and her eyes immediately fell upon him as he stood at the front of the church. And it wasn't because he knew she couldn't lie for toffee or that she always needed the boys to be honest to her even when the truth seemed unbearable, but her eyes had spoken volumes to him. He nodded mostly to himself, and for a moment he looked around at the sea of faces sat in the pews unaware of the sudden change of plans.

His mind raced as he allowed Aunt Pol to close the gap between them. The sound of footsteps nearing had caused him to move his attention solely onto Aunt Pol, and it was only a matter of moments before Arthur – protective and caring of his brother and family – joined them, almost sensing the panic radiate from his brother.

And when Aunt Pol spoke, her voice quieter and considerate than he was used to, he knew that things had changed. He noticed the bruised mark upon her jaw. Her breathing was hitched as she had travelled to them quickly. "Kimber… he's back. I tried to stop them, but they took her, Tommy…"

"When?" Tommy's voice was urgent. Aunt Pol sensed by his raised voice that his mind was whirring with panic.

"I got here as soon as I can," she answered. "He brought loads of men with him, Tommy. They just barged into my fucking house and dragged her out kicking and screaming."

"Did he hurt her?" he asked, the tone of his voice growing dark. "He hurt you, didn't he?"

Aunt Pol shrugged, ignoring his worry regarding her. "I didn't see. No doubt he will though, Tommy. Why is he back?"

"I don't know," Tommy wondered. "He killed Hettie. He couldn't get to Rose. I threatened to kill his wife… but that hasn't stopped him."

"A good woman loves you, Tommy," Aunt Pol urged. "Wasn't that enough to leave all _this_ behind?"

Tommy refused to answer then, knowing that anything he would say next would be fueled with anger, and Aunt Pol didn't deserve his anger for Kimber to be put onto her. He had tried to turn his back on his world for Rose, but it seemed that life wasn't ready nor willing to let him go easily. Kimber had promised him in their final meeting as business partners that they would cut ties and no one else would get hurt. Tommy had almost believed him, but Tommy knew monsters like Kimber. His words meant nothing; and his promises meant even less.

He had allowed his brothers to give Kimber the beating of a lifetime. And after what Kimber did to Hettie, he had been honest with Rose regarding the ordeal Kimber now faced. He knew it was his brother's hands that beat Kimber and not his own, which reassured Rose slightly.

"He wouldn't hurt her," Tommy surmised, his mind wandering. "He wants her as his own. The threat he made… Hettie got in the way because she wouldn't tell him where we were. He never wanted to hurt her, but she was protecting us. "

"Are you kidding me, Tommy? Have you used her as bait?!" Aunt Pol cursed at him until he shook his head.

"No. I would never do that to her," Tommy calmed her down. "He knows I love her and that she loves me. He made it clear that he had some affection towards Rose. But he knew she was mine."

"He's not going to… Tommy…"

Anger flashed across Tommy's face then, but he shook his head. "He wouldn't do anything to harm her. He knows I'll kill him if he does. I spared his wife."

"What do you mean 'you spared his wife'?" Aunt Pol seethed. "Tommy… please…"

"I'd warned him to stay away from Rose," Tommy whispered, aware of the watchful eyes watching the commotion unfold. "That bastard promised me he would not come near her."

"You know how dangerous he is, Tommy," Aunt Pol disputed. "You know that first hand."

Tommy closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You always told me to do what I thought was best… would you still say that now?"

Aunt Pol quietened and bowed her head. She cast her gaze upon the stone floor of the church before taking a deep breath. After a moment, she looked up at him and saw the man he had become in that time since she had told him that. It was when the war was first announced, and Tommy had wanted to prove himself to his father and make his mother proud of him from above. He had come to her; young, bright eyed and naïve. And she had told him to follow his heart, and do what he needed to do, but to be aware of the dangers that came with it. And as she stared into his eyes, now soulless and pained, she knew it had been the wrong thing to say in that moment. She would think of the boy they had lost, and the man who had returned in his shoes.

Tears filed her eyes at that moment, and she spoke with sadness in her voice. "I would… but I'm older now to know that it was probably the wrong piece of advice I could give you…"

Tommy faltered then. "But that was what kept me alive over there, Pol."

"Then you've gotta do what you have to do, Tommy," Aunt Pol responded, defiance coating her words. "What if he hurts her and you lose her?"

Tommy thought for a moment. "It won't end like that."

"You don't know that, Tommy," Aunt Pol said sadly. "He could kill her because he knows she is your everything."

"Then he will lose more than I will," Tommy said sadly. "I'll have to live without her for the rest of my life and that's enough punishment. He'll have everything taken away from him."

"But the pain of your loss will be more than his," Aunt Pol cried softly. "I don't want you to lose her."

"Then by the order of the Peaky Blinders," Arthur interjected. "We get Rose back. And if we must kill every single one of his men then so be it, brother."

Rose Alexander was aware of the car moving for some time. Every time it came to a stop, she believed it would be the end of the journey – and possibly the end of her. She knew Kimber mostly by name, but had only ever seen him for moments at a time. Her memory of him was blurred and hazy but she had heard Aunt Pol mutter his name before he and his men swarmed into Aunt Pol's house and took her away.

She had been getting ready to leave for her wedding when he had come for her. She had thought it had been Tommy or Arthur, but she didn't recognize the men who came into the house and took her away. And she had fought like her life had depended on it, and she had no other reason to believe it was anything but that.

She pinched her leg in the hopes that this was just a cruel nightmare, and that her subconscious was just allowing her to experience pre-wedding nerves, but when she felt the pain of her pinch radiate through her body, she knew it was real. Anxiety coursed through her body, sending shockwaves to every part of her body.

Tommy was her future, and as she felt the car continue to drive for what seemed like hours, she knew her future was hanging in the air. There was no way Tommy could protect her now, and she had no idea where she was or how long they would be driving for.

She thought of Tommy then and wondered if he knew about her being taken against her will. She had seen the fist collide with Aunt Pol and the woman be knocked to the ground harshly, and before she could check if she was conscious, they took her away from the home she grew to love. Would he believe she had bailed on him at the last minute, too panicked to commit to the vows and the future they had both desperately wanted and what seemed so far away?

He knew she loved him no matter what, and the trials and tribulations their relationship had seen had proved just how much their love meant something. He would describe to her that like the opium he would smoke to rest, their love was too strong to give up on.

The car came to a stop and she waited with bated breath for any movement externally. The car jolted momentarily as the driver exited the vehicle, leaving only silence behind. And when there wasn't any sound other than footsteps moving away from her could be heard, she moved herself from the back seat as quietly as she could. Her view was obscured due to the cover over her head and her hands were tied together in front of her. She moved her hands up to the cover and pulled it from her head, not caring about her hair or anything else in that moment.

She had seen the fear in Polly's eyes as she was pulled away from her grasp. She had heard the urgency and panic in Polly's voice as they had swarmed into the house abruptly. She had felt the panic radiate from Polly as she too felt it claw at her throat.

Rose knew that Polly would call for Tommy and tell him everything. She hoped that whatever happened now would not be the end of her. But she was so sure it was.

A screech could be heard behind her as a vehicle grazed the pebbled ground. The silence was a killer, and it only seemed to raise her anxiety and fear even more. Her entire body shook with uncontrollable fear.

She saw movement outside the car she was in, and her eyes caught Kimber out of the small crowd of his men. This was it, she thought, the main event of her life. Kimber was not a man who forgave easily according to Tommy, and the realisation of the whole situation was beginning to set in. She wondered why she had been taken, and the only reason she could conjure up was Tommy.

She tried to calm her breathing, but it only became even more erratic as the car door was pulled open and she saw a tall, gruff man come into view. The man avoided her gaze and pleads then, and grabbed her tied hands and pulled her out of the car roughly. Her shoe got caught in the hem of her dress and she stumbled out of the car; her knee grazing against the rough ground.

A small chortle echoed around her and she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. The stinging pain in her knee causing tears to fill her eyes.

"Quiet," Kimber's voice called out, and silence enveloped them. And it was then, as she looked up and took in her surroundings, that she realised her surroundings were unknown to her. Fields upon fields surrounded and welcomed her, and she then felt the sadness grasp at her heart as she knew that her time had come – this was truly the end.

As she looked around at the faces of those around her, the men that made up the Birmingham Boys, she knew by the way they avoided her gaze that it was the end. She told herself to stand up straight, keep her chin up and eyes level with Kimber's, and to keep her voice calm.

"And it had to come to this," Kimber said, his voice trailing over towards her. The man who had pulled her out of the car came to stop and dropped her tied hands, and moved away from her to stand with the other men. And as she glanced down, she felt bile rise into her throat.

A grave had been dug - and it was for her.

She returned her gaze to him and inhaled deeply. Tears threatened to fall but she tried to remain strong; Tommy wouldn't want her to falter in that moment.

"The one thing I hate is dishonesty," Kimber continued as she watched him standing in front of his line of men. "And Tommy lied to me. He did unspeakable things to me. He threatened to murder my wife after what I did to your friend."

Rose was trying to keep her breathing under control when she felt herself falter. She narrowed her gaze at Kimber then.

"I told Tommy that she got in the way," Kimber continued. "I don't know what he told you but she… Hattie… wasn't meant to die."

"Hettie," Rose seethed then. "At least get her fucking name right."

Kimber smirked then and glanced around at his men. "Touched a nerve, have I?"

"You're the one who killed her?" Rose asked, to which Kimber nodded. There was no remorse on his face despite what he was saying to her. "Why?"

"I was after you…" Kimber smirked. "I wanted what Tommy had. _Hettie_ got in the way. Wouldn't tell me anything about where you or lover boy was. She held you in high regard which is quite nice. It was a shame to watch the life seep out of her."

Rose closed her eyes then, bile rising into her throat. She urged herself to ignore what he was saying, but Hettie had been her friend, a motherly figure to her after the war when she needed that support.

"And to know Tommy has been with you… it's something I can't seem to wrap my head around," Kimber said, the disgust on Kimber's face was paramount. "Tommy has wronged me. And guess what? Tears and apologies ain't going to fix that…"

She closed her eyes at that moment and inhaled deeply again. Her legs felt as though they were going to give from underneath her, and she replayed the memories of her and Tommy in her head for the last time for she knew her time was coming to an end.

Kimber advanced towards her, and she had opened her eyes then, but she had been too slow to move, and Kimber's fist collided with her face. She faltered and fell to the ground, the taste of blood from her busted lip seeping into her mouth and she grimaced. He grabbed a fistful of her dress and pulled her up where his fist connected with her face once more. Anger and deception fueled his actions and he saw a haze of red descend in front of his eyes.

As the beating resumed, and the realisation that his men were turning a blind eye to it all screamed at her in her mind, she had never felt pain like it before. He paused for a moment and stared down at her, a look of guilt flashing across his face. She accepted the beating for a moment, but she had begun to fight back despite the odds stacked against her. If she was to truly die then she wasn't going to die without a fight.

But with a sniff and a wipe of the beads of sweat upon his forehead, he raised his hand again for another attack but just as his hand was to connect with her face once more, he heard it before he could see it and lifted his head towards the sound.

The sound of horses galloping furiously towards them echoed around them.


	12. Part One: Chapter Eleven

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART ONE

..

 _She's bringing the moon and the stars to me,  
Damn permanent reverie,  
And even though this life, this love, is brief,  
I've got some people who carry me'_

 _For Island Fires and Family by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Billy Kimber stood and released her from his grasp as the Peaky Blinders galloped towards them. Kimber's men automatically raised their weapons but with one raised hand from him and their weapons fell to their sides once more. There didn't need to be a gun fight today, Kimber surmised internally. He raised his hands almost in surrender as he backed away from the girl, aware of the glare burning through the air in his direction, though he moved his attention to the other men in front of his own.

Once the men neared them, and he watched as Tommy dismounted from his horse and rushed towards the beaten girl on the ground. The Peaky Blinders lined up in front of him, extending out like Tommy's wings. He scoffed internally, his mind racing at how different things were between the two men. A friendship that had been built whilst in France facing the hardship of war, and the years that came after had proved to them that neither could fully stand the other. It was understandable for both men were complete opposites, and had different ways of doing things.

But he saw the way Tommy's face scrunched up at the sight of her bloodied face. And he saw the way his hands tenderly held her head, and how his thumb ran along her busted lip carefully though a wince still escaped her. And Kimber couldn't do anything other than watch as Tommy's anger only raised more at the audacity of what Kimber had done.

He called for Arthur to move her out of the firing line, and as his older brother gathered her up and carried her away, Tommy stood and took in the shallow grave just beside where she had been. Disgust – like his own – etched across his face, but Tommy was more disgusted with the calloused actions of Kimber. Tommy couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Kimber had proudly beat her to a pulp.

"I'm going to give you one moment to gather your thoughts so that you can give me a good reason as to why her face has been beaten in," Tommy said, a hint of fury clipping each word despite him standing there calmly. Inside, he was a whirlwind of rage with the urge to rip Kimber and his men apart with his bare hands. "I had warned you away. And yet, you do this."

Kimber chuckled for a moment then fell silent. He sniffed and shrugged in his oversized jacket. "You see, Tommy… this is all your doing. You come to my house, put a gun to my wife's head and expect me to not retaliate? You're even more delusional than I remember you to be."

Tommy turned to him then, jaw tensed and eyes protruding right into his soul. "There are other ways of seeking justice. You know there is. She isn't the one who has wronged you, Kimber. I'm the one who has wronged you."

"Were you the one to drop your knickers for any man?" Kimber's words caused an eruption of chuckles to radiate around him. Tommy raised his eyebrows mostly to himself, before he stared the man straight in the eye. "I claimed her, Tommy. Yet you continued to live your blissful life so ignorantly."

"I wasn't," Tommy spoke calmly. "But I sure did help her take hers off, though."

Kimber was riled at this much to Tommy's amusement. For as long as Tommy had known him, Kimber couldn't handle confrontation. He could always give it out but when it was his turn to be in the firing line, he faltered and scuttled away as his men protected him from the onslaught.

"I thought that you, of all people, would still have morals, Shelby," Kimber seethed, stepping forward.

"You should see this as a blessing," Tommy mused, ignoring his comment. "I know men like you, Kimber. You have a good girl at home while you're balls deep in a girl whose name you won't remember because you're that high. All the while she's waiting for you to come home. So, you can continue to do that, and live that perfect single lifestyle that you so desperately crave. Instead of trying to claim _my_ girl as your own, consider your wife who loves and adores you for whatever reason."

"You really are digging your own grave here, Tommy," Kimber stated. "Trying to make your actions seem logical. We've always had a bit of friction, haven't we, Shelby? The war between us…"

"No, you don't understand this…" Tommy seethed, closing the gap between him and Kimber so that their noses were touching. "The war between us hadn't started yet, Kimber. Sure, you killed Hettie. But then you laid a finger on her."

"You've never given a woman a slap to put her in her place?" Kimber retorted.

"I've never had to," Tommy boiled. "You see, I have respect for the women I know. A man who raises his hand to a woman is a weak one."

"You should try it sometime, Shelby. There isn't anything weak about it," Kimber chortled, moving away from Tommy.

This only seemed to anger Tommy more, and before he could comprehend the feeling of anger pulsing below his skin, he caught Kimber by the scruff of his neck aggressively and pulled him close. He stared intensely at him with a snarl on his face.

"I don't think you're getting it, Kimber…" Tommy snarled. "You lay one finger on another woman and I'll know. And I'll be there to wipe that smirk off your face, do you understand me?"

Kimber was silent for a moment, but Tommy didn't need an answer. He had already hurt the woman he loved, and that was enough to ensure that Kimber would get what he deserved. It was sudden and Kimber's men were slow to react, but he had closed the gap between them, and with a crack of his head against the man's skull, Tommy released him from his grip and heard as Kimber dropped to the ground. "That's for Rose…"

As Tommy moved away from him, his men filled the void and shielded them against a potential fight. As Kimber's men helped him up from the ground with droplets of blood spilling out from his broken nose, Tommy was able to hear the commotion behind him; but his mind was no longer dealing with Kimber, but rather needing to be with her to ensure that she was fine.

He felt his heart sink as he saw her clinging to Arthur. She was scared, fearful. Sobs wracked through her body as blood from her wounds seeped into Arthur's coat, but the man was more worried about her physical state than the state of his attire. The woman who loved Tommy and who his brother loved deeply had been hurt, and that was enough to feel the anger burning his skin like flames licking at the air. His eyes had fallen upon Tommy who rushed over towards her, and he had taken his cap from his head.

When she had seen him, blood and the bruising of her eye obscuring her view slightly, she had allowed a shaky breath and whimper to escape her. Tommy dropped to his knees in front of her and took her in his arms. He felt the wetness of her blood upon his cheek, but he didn't care in that moment. Arthur remained close to them, his gaze moving from them to their boys who were seeing the Birmingham Boys off with hollers and expletives.

"I'll leave ya both, Tommy," Arthur muttered.

"Yeah, thanks," Tommy responded, his attention focused solely upon the girl in his arms. As the sound of his brother's footsteps upon the gravelly ground became distant, he laid a gentle kiss upon Rose's head. And he held her for some time until the shake of her body stilled just a bit. He moved her gently away from him just so that he was able to the extent of her injuries at Kimber's hands. As soon as his eyes fell upon her face, he closed his eyes with a sigh and pulled her close to him once more.

He felt the rumble of thunder within him and burning anger scorching his mind and body.

"I should'a killed him there and then," he muttered mostly to himself. "I'm sorry he did this to you, and I wasn't there to protect you from him…"

Rose remained still for a moment before she moved to look up at him. She shook her head at him, knowing the guilt would eat away at him. "No… it's okay… I'm fine…"

And though she reassured him that she was fine, he knew she was anything but fine. He could see the pain in her eyes, the panic tensing up her body, the fear causing her body to shake. Kimber had hurt her, and he wasn't going to get away with it. Tommy wouldn't allow him to get away with it.

Tommy had promised that she would be safe and protected from Kimber, and he had let her down, and although he understood she would refuse that way of thinking, it was true. He had promised that everything would work out well, and that Kimber would be sorted out.

As the sobs continued to wrack through her body, he held her for some time. She clung to him as if she would never see him again.

"I'm taking you home," Tommy whispered, and after a moment, he stood and helped her to her feet. He picked up the veil from the ground and noticed that it had been tarnished with blood and dirt. He saw her falter then and he was quick to reassure her. "Aye, I'll buy you a new one."

Her face remained pained, as if the whole idea of her marrying had been tarnished. She allowed him to guide her to his horse, where he assisted her onto it. He beckoned Arthur over who was quick to come to their side.

"I'm taking her home," Tommy called out, his voice thick and hoarse. "I want a few of you to always be with her if I'm not able to be."

"What ya thinking, Tommy?" Arthur said, sensing from his brother's tone and the glint in his eye.

"I also want a few of ya around Kimber," Tommy continued, ignoring his brothers question. "Keep a note of what he does and keep me informed, yeah?"

Arthur could only nod in response before Tommy mounted the horse. Rose wrapped her arms around his waist, and Tommy grabbed the reigns.

"Ya want us to do anything to him, Tommy?"

"No," Tommy called out. "Let him shoot himself in the foot first."

And with that, Tommy allowed the horse to navigate them home and back to Small Heath. The coal dusted houses and the street that saw him change from a boy to a man. The same street that molded him into the man he was today. And though it had changed him in ways he couldn't imagine, it always welcomed him back with open arms and offered him the same protection as it had done before.

It would always be his home, but fate had other ideas.

..

"She's been beaten by a man, Tommy," Aunt Pol said. "You don't get over something like that."

Tommy stared at Aunt Pol at that moment as the ghost of a girl Polly had once been flashed across her face. She had been at the receiving end of a beating once before, but she had ensured it had only happened the once. It had remained with her despite the many years that had passed by. Aunt Pol set down the tray of tea beside him and came to sit in the opposite arm chair. The fire had been lit by Aunt Pol upon their return to the house; as Tommy had carried Rose into the house and taken her upstairs to bed.

"What do you think Arthur and the others are doing to Kimber and his men?" Aunt Pol asked, dropping a sugar lump into the hot beverage.

"I've given him the order that he mustn't kill him," Tommy explained. "That's my job."

Aunt Pol simply nodded, knowing that Tommy was a man of his word. "I can guarantee Arthur won't let him get away unscathed."

Aunt Pol poured the tea into both cups, though Tommy's was left untouched. He went over to the drinks cabinet instead and poured himself a stiff drink. He needed something to take the edge off, and he saw the disapproving look he received from Aunt Pol.

"I'm only having one," Tommy justified. Aunt Pol shook her head with a shrug and sipped her tea.

"Haven't said anything," Aunt Pol countered. "Just… she'll need you more now. I've been in situations like her, except I loved the man who did that to me. You have a lot of questions to answer, Tommy. And my advice to you is to tell her everything you know, even the bits you don't think she wants to hear… tell her."

"But what if the truth makes her despise me?" Tommy asked, returning to his seat.

"She won't," Aunt Pol reassured. "She'll be concerned, maybe even a little mad… but she won't ever despise you. She loves you too much to hate you."

Tommy placed his glass upon the table and sat back, resting his eyes for a moment.

"We'll wait for the storm to pass before we do anything," Tommy assured. "Arthur is in control now, I'll clean up his mess."

Aunt Pol took a sip of her tea and pondered. "Would it be easier if Arthur kills him?"

"Yes," was all Tommy could say before the sound of screaming filled the air around them. The china cup clattered against the saucer as Aunt Pol jolted against the sudden and sharp sound that sliced through the air. Tommy stood to his feet and raced up the creaky staircase to the room he had placed her in.

As he entered the room quickly, she was on the floor beside the bed, panic washing over her like a heavy rain. Her eyes darted to him then as the breath escaped her lungs and she fought to try and control her breathing, but her attempts proved unsuccessful. Tommy fell to his knees in front of her.

"Breathe… keep breathing…" Tommy urged, placing a hand upon her chest where her heart beat irrationally. "Breathe in and out slowly… feel my hand on your chest, the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out…"

He knew all Rose had to do was to ease herself out of panic that overwhelmed her in that moment, the same panic that cast her out to sea without any assistance or any hope. The pain, the memories, were all too much for her.

She felt as though an invisible hand was clasped around her throat, and every breath she took, the tighter the hand became, like a vice. Her chest and ribs heaved as if bound by ropes, constricted and straining to inflate her lungs for the much-needed air. Her head was spinning, a constant carousel of fears hurtling out of control. She's frozen but still, her entire body trembling. She could hear Tommy's voice, a low hum piercing through the raspy breath emitting from her mouth.

"You've been like this before and you brought yourself back," Tommy reassured, remembering the endless nights where panic would engulf the both of them, memories seeping into their subconsciousness, and causing their fragile minds to remember the pain, anguish and suffering they had felt across the channel. "You are strong, Rose… _just keep breathing for me_."

Her breathing eased after a while, the vice like grip around her neck lessening with every breath she took. Tommy's hand remained upon her chest, the once heaving and frantic motion becoming still.

"There you are," his voice was low, comforting. She reached for him then, and wrapped her arms tightly around his body.

"I… I…"

"Ssh," Tommy whispered. "It's going to be fine, I promise. Let's get you cleaned up… take this dress off you."

Rose simply nodded and allowed Tommy to take control. The sky was beginning to dark just outside the window, and Rose watched as the people on the street below dwindled down to just a few lives making their way home or to the Garrison.

The bathtub had been placed in the room, in front of the fire and the logs that burned and crackled at the heat. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror above the fireplace and winced at her reflection; her vision was hazy and blurred due to her eye being swollen, but she saw the dark bruises that adorned and stained her face.

Tommy came from behind her and she lifted her arms up at him, where he nodded and grabbed the hem of her long white dress that was now ripped and marked with blood and lifted it from her body until she was stood in front of him in nothing but her underdress. She winced in pain as the soft material skimmed the cuts upon her knees, arms and hands. He placed the dress, despite its state, neatly upon the chair in the corner of the bedroom. Tommy took off his suit jacket and laid it beside her wedding dress.

Rose turned to him then and bowed her head.

"No… don't do that," Tommy whispered, reassuring her. He returned in front of her and gently brushed his thumb against her lip, cautious of her bust lip.

"He killed Hettie," Rose sobbed quietly. Tommy gently pulled her to him and rested his head atop her own. He nodded again and knowing she would feel his response, he waited for her own response but when she remained still in his arms, he took a deep breath.

"And he hurt you," Tommy seethed, his voice full of anger and bitterness. He hated the thought of not being there when she needed him the most.

"I understand why you do what you do," Rose whispered against him. "I never understood it before but now I do. I'm full of anger, Tommy."

He lifted the underdress from her body until she was stood naked in front of him. She didn't shy away like she had done many times before, and she stood there with marks and bruises upon her body that he had never seen before until now. He carefully traced the bruise underneath her collarbone, feeling her wince beneath his touch.

"I'm going to make it right," Tommy reassured, helping her into the cast iron bathtub. She allowed the water to puddle at her feet before she slowly knelt into the bath, positioning herself so she was sat in it, the water covering most of her body. The water immediately eased her muscles, tense from the events that transpired, and she allowed her head to rest against the hard tub. Tommy filled a jug with warm water and motioned for her to move forward and when she did, he poured the warm water over her head to wash the blood and dirt away from her face.

"Was he going to kill me?" Rose asked, her voice strong though Tommy could sense fear in it. "I want you to answer me honestly."

"No," Tommy answered surely.

"And Hettie?"

"She… she died protecting us," Tommy told her. He didn't want to tell her the real reason as to why Hettie died in the manner that she did, or how disrespectful Kimber had been. "And I bet, if she was here now, she would say she would do it all again if it meant you were safe."

"He's dangerous, Tommy," Rose whispered.

Tommy could only nod at her response. He wondered where Arthur and the rest of the Peaky Blinders were, and what state Kimber and his men were in. He wouldn't be surprised if Arthur returned claiming Kimber had been killed. An eye for an eye, and all that. Kimber had wronged the Shelby boys on another level.

"I want you to promise me something," Rose whispered as Tommy tenderly traced his fingers upon marked face. The bruises and cuts that adorned her face would heal, she knew that, but the pain in her heart was something she knew wouldn't be able to heal overnight nor in a few weeks' time.

"Anything," Tommy answered honestly, with a furrowed brow.

"If Arthur comes back and Kimber's still standing, I want you to do what it takes to stop him," she whispered tearfully. "For Hettie… for our future… just do something, anything, to stop him."

"I promise," Tommy whispered, watching as the tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her watermarked face. His whole world had begun to crumble around him and just when he thought his guiding light would be extinguished, she had come back to him. And if their future meant Kimber's death was inevitable, Tommy would walk to the ends of the earth for her.

..

END OF PART ONE  
..


	13. Part Two: Chapter One

_Author's Note: Hello and welcome back to Part Two of Between The Devil and a Good Man! I'm so excited for you to read the next instalment of this story and the adventures of Tommy and Rose! I would love to know what you think! So without further ado, here it is!_

 _.._

BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND A GOOD MAN  
..

PART TWO

..

 _'Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline waiting for you  
Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss,  
A permanent truth,  
A means to get through?'_

 _A Closeness by Dermot Kennedy_

..

CHAPTER ONE

Rose Montgomery wouldn't usually call herself lucky.

Life had been an obstacle of sorts, with her life often hanging in the balance as she tried to navigate herself through the woes and troubles that lined her path. There had never been a moment she regretted, yet there were often moments she wished to relive over and over when the darkness began to creep into her heart, clouding her judgement and the love she had to share. The war had been an event that had shaped her into a more caring yet reserved character, and it was the war that had opened up the world to a once sheltered and naïve girl.

But when the war did penetrate every waking and unconscious thought that she had, it all led her back to the one man she never imagined would be a part of her life. And that was when she would call herself lucky. Thomas Shelby had been a man of his word whether it was a threat or a whisper of love, his intentions were always clear and his love for her knew no bounds.

The events of the past few months had been difficult to process and overcome, with the both Tommy and Rose coming to terms with what had happened. They had started to lay down stones that had been unearthed on the path that was now their future, and they truly felt as though their luck had changed for the better. The loss of Hettie had been such a shock to their system that it had taken them weeks to truly process that her departure albeit a shocking and brutal end had given them the need to make things right and do what was right for them and their future. Hettie had been such an important part of Rose's life, and she had become such an important woman in Tommy's life also, that it was almost clear to them that their life had to be lived to the fullest.

Kimber hadn't been seen around Small Heath for several months, as Tommy's threat had finally sunk in. But that didn't stop the nightmares for Rose. She relived that day over and over and, despite the exhaustion setting in and causing her mind to become cloudy with anxious thoughts, the nightmares never stopped no matter what she tried to do. As soon as she would jolt awake and Tommy would take her in his strong, protective arms and whisper words of reassurance, Kimber would always be there as soon as her tired mind drifted away. He would yank her by the hand, causing the veil of darkness to slip away and she would be on her knees begging for her life once more, but this time the sound of the horses galloping towards her and carrying her salvation would never come.

It was always the same dream.

Tommy would never come to her aid, and there was nothing she could do except fight for her life until it was taken from her by the man who had killed Hettie and tried to destroy everything that she and Tommy had built for themselves. But she knew Tommy had come for her, and she knew it was a dream, but it was an overwhelming feeling when she tried with all that she had to try and escape the nightmare.

And when she did, she vowed that it would never dream of it again. Yet it was as if Kimber was taunting her by reminding her of what could have been if Tommy had been a few minutes late.

But things had changed for Rose and Tommy. Their luck had begun to change. Tommy's business was booming, and he was working hard to fulfil the needs of his clients, as she worked shifts at the nearby hospital. The freedom she felt as soon as she walked into the hospital was comforting, her heart knowing where it belonged. And she would help patients with their needs, and she would return home to Tommy and hold him tight until dawn broke them apart once more.

The subject of marriage had come up a few times since the reign of Kimber ended and their lives were restored somewhat, and Tommy could sense immediately that Rose would be transported back to the day that should've been the best day of her life. And it angered him that the happiness and love of that day would forever be robbed from her. Rose was scared that it was going to be a signal for bad luck to upend everything they had worked hard to repair, like a moth to a flame. And despite Tommy's defiance with making the day special for them both and their families, Rose was adamant that the time wasn't right.

But sometimes you had to jump into the deep end to truly feel the world shift, and Rose knew that. Maybe she had to create her own luck by grasping her world with both hands and running with it.

..

Tommy had left the ring on his pillow when he slipped out of bed for work that morning, leaving it there for Rose to wake up to. He had watched her sleep for a moment, as tiredness still clung to him like the night being dragged away from the earth as daylight claimed its territory. He watched the rise and fall of her chest, the way her hand – now empty of a ring – was placed upon her stomach and the other had moved to the warmth of where he had laid just a few moments before, as if searching for him in the night.

He stood up from his seated position at the end of the bed and gently grazed his thumb across her jaw before brushing his lips against hers. She reacted a moment later, but he had moved away from her, watching as her exhausted mind tried to catch up with reality, and only cool air caught her kiss. Tommy smiled at that, knowing that she was finally resting, the nightmares she was having about Kimber now at bay.

He dressed quickly, the chilly autumn air causing a shiver to escape his body. He watched from the mirror above the fireplace as she turned over, her face moving from his view. Once he was dressed, he closed the gap between him and Rose and reluctantly trailed his hand down her back.

"Wake up, love," Tommy whispered and chuckled as he received a moan in response to his wake-up call.

"No…" she groaned into the pillow, sleep still holding her despite the tingles radiating across her back as his hand stroked her back.

"I know," Tommy whispered into the darkened room with the only light illuminating the room being that of the sun battling with the moon. "We've got to get up, sweetheart. Or you'll be late for work."

"No…" she groaned once more as she grabbed his hand and pulled it to her front. She wrapped her arms around it as it rested against her chest, which had caused Tommy to change positions with a chuckle. As he rested on his knees beside the bed with most of his body reaching over a snoozing Rose and his arm taken hostage, he pressed his face against her back and grazed his lips against the delicate softness of her back.

With a slight pull, he was able to retrieve his arm from her and stand up with a smile playing on his lips. He bent down slightly and kissed her cheek before opening the door to leave. He had only made it to the stairs when he heard the curse escape her mouth and he knew she'd woken to see the ring upon his pillow.

..

She played with the ring and felt the weight of the world on her shoulders at that moment. The sheer panic she had felt overwhelm her was like a wildfire burning through her entire body and engulfing her in such a heat that was unsettling. She couldn't understand why she had such a reaction to finding a ring upon his pillow when she woke fully, because there was nothing in the world stopping her from marrying Tommy. But in that moment, she knew there was everything stopping her from marrying him and she couldn't pinpoint where to begin.

Her wedding – the wedding that she and Tommy had planned together – had been tainted in such a way that she truly believed she wasn't destined to ever experience good things happening to her. Tommy would always be by her side or she hoped he would be, that she had to question whether marriage was meant for them or not. They were happy as they were, but she knew she wanted Tommy to be her husband. The struggles they had faced in the past few months were remarkable and they had fought them together, side by side.

The engagement ring was her original one, and it was one that only felt right when it was on her finger. Her love for Tommy had never changed, and in fact, it only grew stronger with each day. The troubles they had endured were ones that would've broken a normal person, and she wondered if Tommy was as scared about it as she was.

There was no denying the fact that Tommy was the man who had her heart, she just didn't know what she could do to rid those demons that haunted her when silence surrounded her.

She knew there was one thing she could do to almost shock herself and taking that leap of faith. She wanted nothing more than to be Tommy's wife, and she knew she had to jump into the deep end and feel the cold water encase her entire body. She had to trust her faith and do what she always wanted to do ever since Tommy came into her life.

..

The sound of Rose descending the narrow staircase caused Tommy Shelby to turn his attention from his cup of tea and breakfast and onto the woman he gave his all too. She was dressed in a simple brown gingham dress and had her long hair styled neatly and delicately in a bobbed hairstyle. He noticed her eyes light up as soon as she saw him, their eyes fixed onto one another as she met the bottom of the stairs. She offered him a mischievous smirk to which he furrowed his brow in reaction.

She lifted her left hand up and he felt his heart swell at the acknowledgement of the engagement ring he had proposed with was back where it belonged. He stood from his seat and wordlessly closed the gap between them. His lips met hers urgently and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Can you please take this somewhere else, like your bedroom?"

The two of them broke apart quickly at the sound of Aunt Pol's voice. They smiled coyly at each other as the older woman moved into the room. Tommy pulled Rose close to him and kissed her atop of the head. Aunt Pol turned to them as she pulled a cigarette out of her holder. Her eyes immediately fell on the ring on Rose's hand, and a huge smile etched across her face.

"It's so great to see that back on your hand," Aunt Pol beamed at them. "It's about time too! We'll head to the Garrison this evening and celebrate. Make sure that brother of yours behaves!"

"Arthur will be just fine… he's been courting a lady recently," Tommy smiled. "She's been keeping him in line."

"About time for that, too!" Aunt Pol exclaimed with a smirk. Her gaze fell upon the shelf in front of her and acknowledged the letter that had been plaguing her for a couple of days. She had been meaning to bring it up in conversation, but she was scared of how Rose and Tommy would react to both the letter and her keeping it from them. Tommy seemed to notice the worried expression on her face and furrowed his brow.

"Pol?"

Tommy's voice snapped her back down to reality, and she shared a look with Tommy. "A letter came through the other day… and I was worried it was too soon, what with… Kimber and what he did to you…"

At the mere mention of Kimber's name, Tommy felt Rose tense up completely. "You think it's Kimber?" Tommy asked, aware of the nervous shake to Rose's body.

Aunt Pol shrugged and bit her lip. "I don't know, Tommy. It could be."

"Arthur and John are on the lookout for him," Tommy explained to the two women. "It seems since the other week that he's not been seen."

"Arthur could've…" Aunt Pol began but was stopped by the shake of Tommy's head.

"No… Arthur said he couldn't run away from him quick enough," Tommy explained further. "And anyway, he knows what will happen to him if he steps foot back into Small Heath."

The threat in Tommy's voice hung heavy in the air, and both women were stunned into silence. Though the bruises were fading from Rose's face and body, the fear and sheer panic still clung to her desperately.

"Who's it addressed to?" Rose asked, her voice failing her in that moment.

"You," Aunt Pol told her quietly. She took it from its secret place and stood with it in both hands as the watchful eyes of Tommy and Rose stared at it. Tommy had returned to Rose's side, and placed a reassuring hand upon the back of her neck, his calloused thumb grazing the delicate skin, warm from the panic she was experiencing. Rose moved away from Tommy and retrieved the letter from Aunt Pol. The handwritten scrawl was unknown to her, but they knew to address it to Tommy's address which hadn't been her formal address which caused all the hair on her body to stand on end.

She tore it open quickly, wanting the worry and stress of the situation to be over quickly. She wasn't aware of the worried exchange that both Aunt Pol and Tommy shared, but she felt the trepidation in the air. As her eyes scanned the words printed on the paper, she felt a lump form in her throat.

"It's… Hettie's solicitor," Rose announced. "He's called me back to London for a formal meeting regarding Hettie and her estate."

Relief washed over them all, but that relief was replaced with the sadness that they had tried to keep at bay. The situation that they had endured for the last few weeks had been overwhelming for them all, and even though the threat was out there against Kimber, they still felt the need to watch their backs just in case Kimber decided to return with all guns blazing. Tommy had tried to keep them all out of his plans, and only confiding in his brothers and the rest of the Peaky Blinders, but the anonymity was killing Aunt Pol and she had ways of making Arthur and John to speak. A good glass of rum or whiskey was all that she needed in exchange, and within a few sips and a few questions asked had given her enough information and enough of an insight of Tommy's plans.

"That's good… that's better than another outcome," Aunt Pol allowed her words to sit with them for a while. They both nodded and glanced at each other, knowing that she was right.

"I'll come with you," Tommy reassured Rose as calmly as he could, but he was worried that the letter was a rouse and done by the hand of Kimber. He knew that it was unlikely, but every little thing worried him. Kimber was not the sort of man to be trusted to just disappear, and in part, Rose understood that.

London had been her home for a while, and she had always loved coming back to it after her time away with Tommy. It was mostly the atmosphere and the warmth that filled her heart knowing the lights and sounds would always be there. But there had been one other reason as to why she always enjoyed being home in London, and she was gone now. Taken from her in the blink of an eye, and London had been tainted for her.

..

London was everything she remembered and more. But as she stood on the platform, her heart began to race with both excitement and apprehension. London had always been her home ever since she stepped foot in it after the war, but it was almost tainted for her now, with all the vibrant colours that it once offered her becoming dull tones of grey. It felt different, she felt different from the last time she was there. The last few times she had been in London had been their engagement party, finding Hettie broken in the home they shared, Hettie's funeral and wake, which all seemed to mold into one for Rose. Time had been a blur for her, and all events within those few weeks had been masked with darkness and pain.

"Rose," Tommy called for her, snapping her back down to reality. He was stood in front of her, his hand holding hers and his eyes watching her carefully.

"I'm okay," she whispered, taking a deep breath and anxiously rubbing at her neck. "I just… I'm just warm…"

"Let's get you out of the station and out in the open," Tommy advised, leading Rose out of the station carefully and aware of the people milling around them. He kept a close hold on her hand, and moved behind her, one hand in hers and one hand upon her waist guiding her out. Her hold on him was just as tight, but more for panic than anything. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in his arms and take her back to Small Heath, but he knew today was an important date for them. After a few exchanges with the lawyer, a date had been confirmed and it was set for them to return to London.

They decided to walk to the house. The streets led them on the familiar paths that they had walked down before, with the both of them remembering the ghosts of themselves in a very different stage of their life. One full of hope and love, and though there was still love and hope within their relationship and themselves, they were mature than before. Naïve lovers had turned into a mature couple who had seen things neither one of them ever expected. But one thing that remained the same was that they were together, standing side by side.

As they reached the house, Rose halted to a stop. Her heeled feet ceasing the clapping against the concrete beneath her shoes. Tommy turned to her and observed her for a moment. He remembered the nights where he held her as she sobbed, mourning the death of Hettie. He remembered the nights he would hold her as the pain from her attack overwhelmed her. He remembered all the nights where they laid in each other's arms, legs and arms entwined as they spoke into the darkness. She had changed before his very eyes from the woman he had first met back on the frontline, but one thing was for sure, and one thing that remained the same, was his love for her.

"You have been so strong," Tommy whispered as he came to stand in front of her, obscuring her view of the house. He gently placed his hands on either side of her face and stared deeply into her eyes. He watched as she moved her gaze to him. "And things are still so raw for you, for me, for all of us. But you… can do this. Hettie wouldn't want you to fear walking through those doors or stepping inside that room. She wouldn't want you to be scared of coming home."

Rose nodded against his hands, and felt her eyes begin to water. "She's gone, and I can't…"

Tommy brushed a tear that had dared to fall from her cheek. "She's gone, but she's still in here," he whispered as he moved a hand from her face and placed it upon her chest above her heart. He felt her heart quicken under his touch and smiled. "And she walks alongside you. Remember that."

Rose nodded tearfully and allowed Tommy to pull her close to him. She breathed in his scent, feeling the sense of panic and sadness begin to ebb away from her. It was slow at first, but with every deep breath, the worry began to lessen and move away from her.

Tommy took the lead and unlocked the door to the townhouse, allowing them to gain entrance into the beloved home that held so many happy memories for them both separately that, that one bad memory was being swallowed by happiness. They allowed the door to open and show the familiar hallway to them as they stood on the doorstep.

"It still smells like her," Rose whispered remembering the fond memories that would never leave her of her returning home to the house smelling of freshly baked biscuits, floral perfume, and the soft hint of tobacco. Rose was stood closely behind Tommy, her hands holding his coat tightly. Her head rested upon his shoulder as she stared into the hallway. A pile of letters

"It does," Tommy whispered with a smile. He turned his head and gently brushed his lips against her forehead. "Come on, let's go in."

The house had been cleaned from top to bottom and whilst Rose avoided the living room where Hettie's body had been found, Tommy inspected the room. The blood had been washed from the wall and Kimber's blood-stained threat was just a mere memory; the blood from the floor had been scrubbed out, and the chair that was bloodstained had been removed and replaced.

As Tommy went to find Rose, the doorbell rang. He heard the clatter of pans in the kitchen go silent as Rose stopped what she was doing and met him in the hallway. The figure of a tall man could be seen through the glass on the heavy door. Tommy moved to the door and pulled it open to reveal a man dressed from head to toe in a formal suit and coat. He held a briefcase in one hand and an umbrella in the other.

"Hello, I'm George Winters," the man introduced himself. "I am Henrietta Miller's solicitor."

Tommy introduced himself and Rose to the man and welcomed him into the house. Rose showed him into the kitchen and made tea for them all as a means to keep herself calm. As Tommy spoke with George about little things, filling in the conversation before they started talking about what they were all there for, Rose struggled with the fact that they were all there to talk about Hettie without her being there. It was hard for her to comprehend that the woman who had taken the role of her mother, guiding her and showing her love, was no longer there. Tommy sensed the pain in the way Rose moved around the kitchen; everything seemed the same yet there was a missing piece.

"I knew Henrietta for a good few years," George explained as Rose brought the tea tray over and placed it upon the dining table. "She was a formidable woman. Always making me chuckle until my sides hurt."

"She really was the life and soul of this house," Rose agreed with a smile. She started pouring out the tea from the pot into three cups.

"She spoke highly of you, Rose," George began as Rose sat down. The man noticed the look of surprise on her face. "It's true. She came to me about two months before her sudden… death, and told me that her will was to be changed. The amount of times it had been changed in the last ten years had been shocking, but it was no surprise as to why she wanted it to change."

Tommy furrowed his brow. "She had it changed?"

"Yes," George confirmed. "She had no family for many years, and after her husband passed away, she had changed her will to ensure that his family had an equal share. And when she came to be nearly three months ago, she was adamant that she didn't want it going to family who she didn't know by name and that she had one person who had become like family to her. And that was you, Rose."

Rose felt her eyes sting with tears. George offered her a sympathetic smile.

"She told me that though you were not biologically related to her, she thought and saw you as the daughter she never got to have," George continued with a soft smile. "She put your name on everything. The house, her money, everything. And she gave me this for when it was to be that time."

George handed Rose a letter. She took with a soft smile and opened it carefully. She saw the familiar scrawl of Hettie's handwriting marking the paper inside, and as she pulled it out of the envelope, she allowed herself to take a deep breath as her eyes read the words of a woman who she had held in such high regard.

 _To Rose,_

 _Do not be sad about my departure from this world for I have returned to my husband. The matters surrounding my death – I'm hoping for sleep to take me one night – is something I have no clue about, but one thing I know to be of much importance is the fact that I am leaving you behind._

 _I am so happy that you answered my newspaper advertisement regarding a lodger because I got to know such a lovely, kind-hearted and strong woman. And though you do not believe that yourself, I just want you to know that I have a strong judge of character. I want you to be happy. And I understand you aspire to become a doctor that I know with a little funding that you will be able to do that. From an older woman, I believe that you are more than capable of achieving those dreams of helping those in need._

 _And that speaks louder than anything else in this world. I believe in you. And that good man of yours does too._

 _So, live your life with love and grace on your side. And though I'm not there to cheer you on, I will always know that the time that we had gave me so much of everything I didn't realise I needed. I had lost myself when I lost my husband, and you had given me a reason to wake up in the morning. I believed life for me had ended but I want you to live without worry and travel wherever the wind blows. And I'm hoping this will help you make your future as bright as the sun._

 _I wish you so much love in the world, and I'll be celebrating your victories from above._

 _With love and kind regards,  
Henrietta 'Hettie' Miller_

 _P.S. When life gets tough for you, just remember, you are so much stronger than you know._

"I just need you to sign this and then everything is yours," George said as she placed the letter upon the table. He placed the document in front of her and handed her a ballpoint pen. She took the pen and scanned the document despite her mind whirring with the new reality she would be experiencing in a matter of seconds. She allowed her mind to take over and the pen traced her signature in thick ink upon the document. "And there we have it, the legacy of Henrietta continues just as she wanted it to."

"Thank you for meeting with us today," Tommy said, watching as Rose handed the document back.

"It's my pleasure," George responded with a nod. "Everything will be transferred from her account into the one she made for you. Here are the details for that."

George handed her a small box and noticed the look of bewilderment on her face. He offered her a genuine smile. "I know this is overwhelming," he began. "And I understand you'd much rather have Hettie back than all of this, but this is what she wanted you to have. You have a home, you have the funds to make a great future for yourself, and she can see you achieving everything you want to."

"Thank you," Rose whispered, shaking George's hand.

"Again, my pleasure," George said as he packed up his belongings. "If you have any enquiries then please do not hesitate to contact me."

They showed him to the door and bid goodbye to him. They watched him disappear around the corner of the street before closing the door and locking the world outside. Tommy turned to Rose and ran a hand through his hair.

"She left me everything, Tommy," Rose whispered in shock.

Tommy closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. They held each other for a while and Rose rested her head against Tommy's chest and listened to his heartbeat. He gently held her close to him as his mind wandered back to the heartbreak they had felt when they had returned that evening to find Hettie broken and laid upon the floor. He closed his eyes and placed a kiss upon the top of her head, and for a fleeting moment, all was well in the world.


End file.
